


Supreme Surrender

by Khim_Azaghal



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Blood, Domestic Violence, Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Minor Character Death, Post BotFA, mention of stabbing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khim_Azaghal/pseuds/Khim_Azaghal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khím was born in Ered Luin in 2876 TA. Her parents being attracted by what Erebor has to offer them, they moved to live in Erebor three years after the Battle of Five Armies.</p><p>Unfortunately for Khim, she doesn’t fit in dwarven society. Her independant and impulsive temperament doesn’t really correspond her parents’ expectations. She’s literally a tomboy, refusing to wear dresses, and prefering weapons to embroidery. Too tall, too skinny, too rebellious, not feminine enough… It saddens her some times, but she finds somehow how to take advantage of this situation.<br/>She works among males in the forge as an apprentice and she takes much pride in her work.</p><p>One day, she meets Kili. This encounter will change their lives forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A winter morning

_Kíli had woken up early and had unsuccessfully tried to leave their bed discreetly._

  
_“Where are you going this early, amrâlimê?” Khím asked sleepily. He put a tiny kiss on her forehead and caressed her big belly, rounded with their child to be._  
_“I promised to go hunting with Fíli. He must be already waiting for me. Get back to sleep my love.” Kíli answered, cupping her cheek while he kissed her hair. She laid on her right side, resting on her elbow, and watched him getting dressed, wishing he could come back to bed with her to keep her warm. The night fire was dying, and they were having a harsh winter._

  
_He was sitting on the edge of the bed, putting thick socks on. She reached out and caressed his arm lazily. He turned his head and smiled tenderly at her, knowing what she wanted. He knelt in front of her and kissed her lips softly. She responded to the kiss, wanting it to go deeper, and he parted his lips, letting the tip of her tongue meet his, closing his eyes and savouring the sweet sensation._

  
_“Are you sure you can’t come back to bed?” she asked with shiny eyes, her hand caressing his rasping cheek and his chin between two kisses. He paused and answered with a sorry smile “Hmmm, I’d love to, but hunt can’t wait. Fíli must be freezing outside with the ponies. I can’t let him down.”_

 _Khím let him go reluctantly, promising herself to resume things where they had stopped as soon as he would be back._  
_One last kiss and Kíli was gone for the day._

 

***~~~~***

 

The lanky dwarrowgirl was alone in the field, cleaving through the air with a sword. She was making angry and chaotic moves, grunting from the effort, sweating in the summer sun. Her lack of technique was obvious, and Kíli smiled, watching her from a distance.

  
After a moment, he walked carefully towards her and waited for her to notice him.

  
Khím started with surprise and nearly cut his arm. Fortunately, Kíli had good reflexes, and he avoided the blade easily with a cheeky grin on his face.

  
“You will kill someone if you continue slashing the air like a savage beast!” he said, laughing. Extremely upset, Khím glared at the young prince and spat on the ground, with a gleam of anger in her eyes. Being used to be treated with deference, Kíli was quite surprised by her demeanour, and stepped back with his hands held high above his head as a sign of surrender.

  
Khím allowed herself to relax a bit, and stuck the sword in the ground. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and looked at the prince. He was smiling, quietly waiting for her to introduce herself.   
Noticing that he wouldn’t leave, she heaved a sigh and held out her hand to shake his with a firm grip.  
“My name is Khím, daughter of Ibun.” Did she say “daughter”? This lanky and unkempt person couldn’t be a girl! What girl would wear worn-out boots with a man tunic and leather trousers, and fight savagely imaginary enemies with a sword? He noticed that her hair was as tangled and free as his, unlike his her's was blazing red.  
“I’m glad to make your acquaintance, Khím, daughter of Ibun. I’m Kíli, son of Dís.” He replied with a bow.  
“I know who you are.” Khím retorted with a bit of insolence in her voice. “You’re a prince, heir of Thorin, after your brother Fíli.”

  
Ignoring her sass, Kíli took one of the blunted swords she had taken with her and said with a wicked grin “All right, looks like you need a partner! Take your sword and let me see what you can do, lass! Bring it on!”

  
She took her sword and held it with two hands. Seeing she even couldn’t hold a simple sword properly, Kíli laughed.  
“Oh boy, seems like you need to learn how to hold a sword before you do anything!”  
Without giving her the time to reply, he took the sword from her hands and put it away.  
“You must hold your sword with only one hand. You may have a shield, or another weapon in your right hand.” He gave Khím her sword back. “Come on, don’t be shy, strike!” he said, provoking her.  
Embarrassed and angry at herself, Khím took her position back and attacked the prince. He avoided all her strikes easily.

  
They finally stopped, and Kíli said “You have to work more on your movements, and your coordination. Let it all feel spontaneous.”  
Panting from the effort, Khím replied “I…. don’t have…… technical skills…….. at all.” She let her sword fall on the ground and sat down without elegance.  
“I’ve learnt all by myself, and now I know I’ve done everything wrong from the beginning.” She looked angry and sad. Seeing she was upset, Kíli sat down next to her and tried to comfort her.  
“No, it’s ok. You already have a lot of energy and that’s a good point.” He smiled, giving her a slight nudge in the ribs “You just need to be coordinated and organized. It’s not difficult, you’ll see.”  
She looked at him, puzzled, and said “How? Please teach me!” Her tone was impatient, and he laughed internally, thinking she looked just like him when he was beginning his own training, ages ago.  
“In due time, lass! You don’t need to rush those things. But I promise you, when I’ll be done with you, you’ll be able to fight like the fiercest dwarf!”  
Khím smiled, thinking of her as a well-trained fighter. “Well, if I can fight properly, maybe I’ll be able to grow a decent beard as well!” Kíli looked at her face and laughed softly.  
“You’re the first beardless dwarrowgirl I've met. But it doesn’t shock me. Well, look at me!” She took her time to watch his face properly and smiled. Despite his age, his face was adorned with only a little stubble, which wasn’t considered quite normal among the dwarves who were famous for their big bushy beards. Males, and females as well, made a great deal about it.  
“Looks like we’re two ugly beasts, eh?”  
“Hey, speak for yourself, sassy girl!”  
They both burst out laughing.

  
They kept training until sunset, allowing themselves to take a pause to drink water from time to time. By the end of the day, Khím was sore and already knew she would suffer from muscle aches the day after. Several bruises were blooming on her arms and legs, but she was happy and satisfied.  
Both grinning, Khím and Kíli separated and promised to meet again the following day, same time, same place.

 

***~~~~***   
  


As Khím entered hers parents’ house, she was coldly welcomed by her mother.  
“Where have you been all day? You were supposed to clean up the house while I was away!”  
Khím shrugged and sat down at the dinner table, crossing her arms on the wooden board, not even caring to answer. She had skipped her domestic duties, and so what? She had had better things to do.   
Her mother glared at her, threatening her. “Wait until your ‘adad comes back from the mine, and you’ll see!”  
Khím looked unashamedly at her mother and rolled her eyes. This argument had ceased to impress her ages ago.  
She stole a piece of bread and some cheese on the table and went to her room, letting her mother curse her behind her back.  
She let herself fall back on her bed and ate, thinking about sword fights and her new friend. She fell fast asleep and didn’t wake up until morning came.  
  


***~~~~***   
  


Khím rose from her bed, her whole body aching like hell. She decided to take a hot bath to relax her sore muscles and it worked a bit. She left her home silently to avoid her parents and walked to the forge, where her master was waiting for her. She suffered all day long, but she still wanted to continue her training with Kíli. She was as pig-headed as eager to learn.  
  


***~~~~***   
  


The afternoon came too slowly to her taste, and she headed to the field where Kíli was already waiting for her. Seeing her approaching, he waved at her happily. That girl intrigued him. She wasn’t like the other dwarrowgirls he knew. Too tall and skinny for a dwarf, she was odd but it was what he liked about her. She liked weapons and was learning how to craft them. And she liked sparring. She was very unusual, moving and talking as if she were a boy. But he appreciated her company and her energy.

  
This day, Kíli had brought wooden training swords for more safety. He wished to give her only a few basic techniques and let her find her own style. Khím wanted to start striking right away but Kíli asked her to sit down and listen to him first, and she complied reluctantly.

  
“First, sparring is not fighting! Do not brutalize me.” Kíli said with a wink.  
Khím rolled her eyes in a funny way, and replied, laughing lightly “Hey, who do you think I am? I’m no brute!”  
Ignoring her, Kíli continued with his lesson.

  
“Second, and it’s very important, protect yourself at ALL times.” Khím stopped smiling to look at him with great interest, furrowing her brow as she listened.

  
“Third……. Relax. Don’t try to do anything dramatic. Fourth, don’t rush. You’ll only waste your energy, and there’s a decent chance you’ll rapidly collapse from exhaustion. Fifth, don’t “dance” until you reach a good skill level. An experienced enemy could easily make you lose your balance. And last but not least, don’t ever forget to breathe! Understood, young lady?” Khím nodded in agreement, her face looking serious and focused.  
“All right, so let’s begin!” Kíli replied enthusiastically.

  
Khím and Kíli trained the whole afternoon, until they barely could see each other in the setting sun.

 

***~~~~***

  
After two weeks of hard and intense training, Kíli thought he could be proud of his trainee. Once they put the wooden swords in a jute bag, Kíli looked at Khím, his eyes suddenly sparkling with mischief. She arched a questioning eyebrow and asked suspiciously “What?” He smiled while saying “How about an ale, or two, or a lot, in the tavern tonight? We deserved it, don’t you think?”

 

Khím’s eyes widened and a grin spread itself on her face. She liked that plan! Kíli grabbed her hand and they ran, giggling like kids.  
Once arrived in the tavern, Kíli hit the counter with his hand and gladly asked for two mugs of ale. He noticed the funny looks the other dwarves gave Khím. She noticed it too.

  
Ordinarily, she would have shouted insults or even started brawling, but for once, she ignored them. She didn’t want to spoil this nice evening.

They clinked their mugs together and drank happily. After a few drinks, Kíli got bolder and challenged Khím to a drinking game, which she took on enthusiastically. They ended up laughing like fools, singing out of tune with a slurred voice, and dancing on the tables. At one point, Kíli’s eyes crossed and he fell hard on the floor, still giggling.

  
“Hey Keeleeee whut 'r you doing?” Khím was as massively drunk as Kíli, and she fell too as she tried to get her friend up.  
Deeply annoyed, the innkeeper threw them out unceremoniously in the night.  
  


The two friends began to stagger outside. They didn’t want to leave each other. Facing Kíli, Khím stuck her forefinger in his chest and laughed.   
“Kayleeeee my friend, I think you lost the contest!”   
Kíli replied with a faked offended tone “Naaaah I won! I drank more than the two of you, sooo I won!”   
Feeling suddenly tired, he let himself fall on the ground and held his head in his hands. “Ooooh my head…….. My uncle mustn’t see me like this. I think you’ll have to carry me home on your shoulders!”   
The last part was a joke but Khím took it seriously. “Ok, I’ll carry you on my back.” She tried to lift him up in her arms but she tripped and they both fell down, giggling like complete idiots.   
“Ouch you’re sooooo heavy Khím! Get up lass, you’re suffocating me! And stop laughing!”  
Khím managed to move aside and she laid on her back, arms and legs disorderly spread. “Let’s get prepared for a huuuge hangover….. Mahal, my parents will be soooo pissed off, I just can’t go home. I think I’ll sleep outside.”  
“Ok, so if you sleep here, I’m staying with you. You could use me as a pillow if you want?”

  
The two drunk friends cuddled on the ground and fell asleep. They woke up in the same position the morning after and hurried to put some distance between them, suddenly embarrassed by such closeness once they were both sober.   
But after they stood up and wiped the dust from their clothes, they looked at each other and smiled. Their hangover was massive and they needed to get refreshed. They staggered to the lake and splashed their faces with water before going to work.   
This day promised to be long and painful, but they were happy.


	2. 'Arsadrân

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Arsadrân is the perfect season for sealing a friendship with a very special gift. And Kíli begins to have disturbing feelings.... poor him.

Four more weeks had passed. It was the middle of ‘Arsadrân, the first part of the dwarven summer. Khím and Kíli were still training and sparring in the meadows with their wooden swords every afternoon until dark, and Kíli was very proud of his trainee. As time had gone by, Khím had gained more and more fighting skills, confidence, agility, and speed. 

Kíli had also noticed that her body wasn’t scrawny anymore, but slender and toned, with finely defined muscles. Her skin had become slightly golden with lovely freckles on her face and shoulders after all these afternoons spent sparring under the summer sun. Moreover, beholding the spectacle of Khím’s body in action had had been the cause of a few incidences of tripping and falling recently. Everything had always ended in a mix of friendly brawl and laughter, but Kíli was beginning to feel a bit strange in her presence from time to time. However, he couldn’t explain to himself what the cause of this awkward feeling was, and he didn’t want to think about it.

On her side, Khím was feeling like she could fight the whole world with her bare hands and even crush it if she wanted to. Nothing could break down her enthusiasm as long as she was with Kíli.  
She loved his company. With him, she could be entirely herself and not be ashamed of what she was and how she behaved. He was her friend. More than that, he could be the brother she had always wanted to have. But she kept all these thoughts for herself. She wasn’t much of a talker when it came to express her feelings. Why spoil the fun they had with words when they could enjoy a bit of rough action?

This afternoon, Kíli was in charge of the weapons, and Khím noticed that he was carrying a bag that was bigger than usual.

“What’s in there?” asked Khím with curiosity. 

“You’ll know soon enough!” replied Kíli with a grin, and he began unloading the bag of its contents, very slowly only to tease her. After a few moments, all their usual weapons were aligned on the ground but there was still something big in the jute bag. Kíli knew that his sparring friend was now obsessed with the mysterious object he had deliberately left hidden. So, he decided to tease her a bit more.

Today, he wanted to see if Khím would like to try archery. The young dwarrowgirl was so eager to learn something new, he had thought it would be fun. When she saw the bow and the quiver full of arrows, Khím turned pale. She let out a faint “Oh crap….” and Kíli eyed her in disbelief.

“What’s wrong? Tell me?” he asked.

“Ok, confession time……. I once tried to shoot an arrow, but I….. I almost stabbed my left eye… Hey! Don’t laugh! It’s not funny! Will you shut up, you son of a troll! “ Khím gave Kíli a dirty look. He was laughing so much he almost fell. She was about to sulk for good when Kíli recomposed himself and wiped away his tears with his knuckles. He faced a glaring and pouting Khím, who was standing fiercely with her arms crossed on her chest.

“Hey, it’s ok, Khím. I can teach you archery if you want to give it a real try. You’re safe with me. The only thing I don’t know is if I can be safe with you” said Kíli with a smirk and a wink. Khím wanted to keep on sulking, but she couldn’t help herself and began to smile. She held her hands above her head in surrender, and sighed. “All right, master, _teach_ me.”

Kíli grinned, thrilled by the idea of teaching something new to his friend. He knew she highly valued his skills as a fighter, and he easily admitted he liked to be praised.

The lesson began. Kíli taught Khím the technique to know her aiming eye, and therefore to determine her aiming arm. She was left-handed, another rare feature among the dwarves, and it added a little more difficulty to the game. After that, Kíli taught her the proper stance to have when shooting an arrow. She didn’t get it right away, so he had to shift her hips and shoulders to align them with the target. He tried to do it quickly, although he was tempted to linger a little bit more on her waist. He blinked to go back to normal thoughts, and his desire was gone, back to the depths of his brain. It would come back later that night, in the middle of a particularly hot dream which would leave him damp with sweat and panting in his bed, alone.

The archery lesson went on pretty well, and no one ended up injured. The two friends allowed themselves a well-deserved pause and lay down side by side on the grass, beneath the protective shadow of a large oak.

Khím crossed her arms under her head, and closed her eyes, a tiny smile of contentment on her lips. She heaved a sigh, enjoying the warmth and the calm of the moment. She listened to the locusts and the buzzy bees surrounding her, smelling the sweet and discreet scent of the cornflowers nearby. When she opened her eyes to look at the white fluffy clouds in the sky, her gaze followed the delicate ballet of two black and white butterflies chasing each other. Khím loved summer. She could escape the oppression of the mountain and have a taste of freedom. She took a look at the jute bag nearby, her thoughts coming back to its mysterious contents, and Kíli noticed it. He couldn’t fairly make Khím wait any longer.

Opening one eye, he said lazily “Do you really want to know what’s in there?” As she answered, they both rose and sat cross-legged, facing each other. “All right, close your eyes then… And don’t cheat!”

Usually, Khím wasn’t very fond of surprises. But she was with her best friend, her brother from another mother, so she complied with a smile and waited, trying not to cheat even if she was tempted to do so.

“Are you ready?” 

She nodded impatiently. 

“You can open your eyes.”

She did as he said, and she saw it. 

“This is for you.” Kíli was handing her a throwing axe, whose handle was carved with ancient runes and adorned with the Durin’s house royal seal. The weapon was as magnificent as a bright jewel to Khím’s eyes. Overwhelmed by her emotions, she suddenly felt tears coming up, and she fought to force them back. She dared to touch the axe with the tip of her trembling fingers, but she didn’t take it.

She finally managed to speak, and her voice sounded ragged. “Oh Kíli, I’m deeply honoured….. I…. I don’t know what to say…”

The young prince smiled fondly at his friend and softly replied “You don’t have to say a word. Just accept it as a seal of our friendship. Besides, you need a proper weapon. This axe had been given to me by my ‘amad. She had kept it many years after my ‘adad died. He had crafted it for me when I was a child, and I practiced a lot with it. I want you to keep it now.”

Hearing those words, Khím started to panic and began to back away. “No way! It’s your family heritage! I can’t keep it! Not me……. You should give it to your son or your nephew when you have one. I’m not worthy of such a gift, this is too much!”

Kíli reached out and put his hand on Khím’s arm. “Khím, please take it. This is my gift to you, and be sure I don’t do this lightly. I value our friendship very much. You’re like family to me.”

Not knowing what else to say, Kíli simply put the axe in Khím’s hands and clasped his own on hers. She looked at his hands for a moment, then she lifted up her gaze to meet Kíli’s. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears of joy, and she said solemnly with a trembling voice, “I promise to take care of that axe as long as I live. It’s a real treasure. Thank you so much!”

Kíli smiled but didn’t have time to answer: Khím hugged him in a brutal and messy way, and his breath left his lungs as she almost crushed his ribcage in her embrace.

“Khím, you’re suffocating me again, you bear! Please let me breathe at least a little!” Kíli managed to groan. She released him and apologized with a broad smile, and the two friends laughed merrily.

Khím spent the next minutes examining her axe from every angle. She treated the weapon as if it were a tiny and delicate thing, and she was marvelled by its shape and sharpness. Kíli laughed. “It’s not a fragile work of art. You can try it, you know? You see that tree over there? It’s a bit far but you can try to hit it.”

Khím agreed, stood up and gripped the handle of the axe. Still cross-legged on the ground, Kíli observed her. Her eyes were focused on the tree. Her brows were so much frowned with concentration that she looked almost angry. Khím took her time to aim, breathing slowly. When she felt ready, she brought the axe up in a slow, straight, controlled manner. As it was high enough, she started bringing it forward. She took care to keep both her feet firmly on the ground. Another deep breath, and it was time. Kíli held his breath, watching her intently. Khím threw the axe in a natural easy motion, and hit the tree.

The sudden loud and happy shouts of the two friends frightened the nearby ravens, which flew away with annoyed squawks. 

“Yeah, you did it! It’s great for a first try!” Kíli was grinning from one ear to another, his hands on Khím’s shoulders. She was also grinning, looking almost silly from being so happy. Their eyes met, and their giggles faded to a hushed silence. Kíli began to feel embarrassed again, and rapidly took his hands off of Khím’s shoulders. His mouth was dry and he gulped with difficulty. Fortunately for him, he recomposed himself quickly and offered to take back the axe. Khím agreed and went through their supplies to fetch them some water. Something was already on her mind. She was over the moon about his gift but still felt a bit ill-at-ease about owning a royal weapon. She made the solemn decision to craft a knife for Kíli, so they could be even.

Kíli took his time walking to the tree so he could think. What was happening to him? How could he be attracted to a girl like Khím? She looked like everything but a girl by the way! He shook his head, thinking it wasn’t proper. She was his friend. She wasn’t even beautiful. Oh don’t lie to yourself Kíli, he thought, you find her beautiful. Ok, so, what now? What could he do? He decided to put these disturbing thoughts away. He would deal with them later, in due time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tons of thanks to DrakkHammer and ceallaig for accepting to be my beta readers! You guys are awesome!
> 
> I hope you still like this story so far. For my part, I really enjoy writing it. Tell me what you like and/or dislike in the comments ;)  
> Thank you all for reading.


	3. Hurt and comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli shares his happiness with Fíli but doesn't receive the reaction he expected from his brother. He'll need some comfort and nobody's better than Khím to find a way to soothe his bruised ego.

Kíli headed back to the mountain with a feeling of utter bliss. He felt so close to Khím, as close as a brother, but with a little something more. He knew he had taken the right decision to offer his axe to her. Even if she didn’t feel worthy to have it, he knew deep down she was.

Still deep in his thoughts, he literally bumped into Fíli on his way to dinner.

“Watch out brother! Are you dreaming or what?” Fíli laughed at the sight of his brother. What meant that silly happy face? 

“Sorry, brother… I was far away.” Kíli tried to sound casual but he couldn’t fool Fíli. It was like his brother could penetrate his mind whenever he wanted to read his thoughts, even the most secret ones.

“I haven’t seen you much lately, brother… What are you up to these days?” asked Fíli with a suspicious look.   
Kíli looked caught unawares for a split second and replied guardedly “I’ve met a new friend. We spend our afternoons sparring in the meadows.”  
“Oh yeah? That’s nice. Do I know him?”  
Kíli felt his cheeks blush a little and didn’t dare to meet his brother’s gaze during a few seconds. He finally replied reluctantly “In fact, it’s a lass…”

Fíli stood stupidly open mouthed while processing the information. Had he heard well? 

“A lass??? Are you telling me you spend every afternoon sparring with a lass?”   
“Yeah I do! Is it a problem?”  
Seeing his brother upset, Fíli hurried to lower the pressure.  
“Not at all. But you have to admit it’s unusual. Who is she? How have you met her?”

Kíli calmed down and told everything (except his occasional weird feelings) to his brother.  
Fíli listened attentively to Kíli’s passionate tale. He seemed really fond of that strange boyish girl.   
When it came to the offering of the axe, Fíli cast a disapproving look at Kíli and burst into anger.  
“By Mahal’s beard, you did what? You gave your family heritage to a girl you barely know? What’s on your mind Kíli? Sometimes, I wonder if you have a brain! Will you ever stop acting like an irresponsible idiot? I won’t tolerate that, and neither will Thorin! You must take your axe back!”

Kíli firstly shrugged under his brother’s assault. But it was time for Fíli to stop acting like he was his father. Kíli’s blood started to boil, and the corridor soon echoed with his anger.  
“This axe was mine, and you have no right to judge me, nor Khím! You can’t talk about her, you don’t know her!”  
“This is not the problem! You just don’t have to squander a royal treasure! It must stay in the family!”  
“She’s like family to me! Now I have enough! Don’t bother yourself to look for me, I’ll eat somewhere else.” Kíli glared at his brother, and simply and purely left him on the spot.

Fíli stood there, bewildered. He was too much stunned to run after Kíli who was already out of sight. Had this quarrel really happened?   
Still confused, he joined the rest of the family for dinner and excused Kíli when they wondered why he wasn’t present.   
He barely ate this evening, his thoughts focused on Kíli and his anger outburst. A hint of guilt made its way through his mind. After all, Kíli could do whatever he wanted with his axe, as he was considered as a responsible adult now. He was foolish, in a way, but not foolish enough to stupidly give away one of his rare souvenirs from their father… Fíli sighed and got outside, looking for Kíli. He had to talk to him and apologize.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Kíli left the mountain in long enraged strides. He needed to punch something. Or someone.  
He needed to calm down.  
His steps guided him to the lake. He sat on the bank, his arms folded around his knees, and looked at the water, quiet and shining like a mirror under the moonlight.

What was wrong with Fíli? Why did he have to be so stern? Why couldn’t he see him like a grownup dwarf? Kíli’s anger rose again as he thought about his brother. But soon, the anger left, and sadness took over. Kíli felt so alone. His mind drifted away and his thoughts went to Khím. He needed her, now.

Instinctively, he took the way to her parents’ house. Since Erebor was still under reconstruction, they had been given a small cottage outside the mountain.  
Once arrived under Khím’s window, Kíli picked up little rocks on the ground and threw them on the shutters to wake her up.

Khím was dreaming. She had her bow and arrows and was hunting a deer in the forest, adrenalin running in her blood. She involuntary stepped on a twig and it snapped under her weight. *tic*. She froze and shrugged, hoping the deer hadn’t heard her. *tic* What was that noise and who was ruining her hunting? *tic* The dream vanished and she opened her eyes slowly, her lids heavy with sleep. *tic* So, this sound came from the real world! What the hell was that?

She got up and opened her window and shutters in a single gesture. At this precise moment, a small rock hit her right between the eyes! “Ow!” She heard a muffled giggle as she rubbed her forehead furiously. 

Khím whispered angrily “Kíli, is that you?” The dwarven form beneath her window didn’t answer, still uncontrollably giggling while trying to be as discreet as possible. Ok, it was Kíli. 

“What are you doing outside during the night? And why the hell are you throwing damn freaking rocks at me face??”  
Another muffled giggle came to her ears. Ok, this was too much. This dwarf deserved a good punch. Khím got dressed, and got out as quietly as she could, using her sheets as a rope.   
Once arrived downstairs, she punched Kíli hard in the shoulder without further ceremony.  
“This is for the rock in my face!”  
“Ow!” Kíli rubbed his shoulder with a sad puppy look. “That hurts, Khím! You’re such a brute.”  
“No, I’m not, and you started it by the way.”  
“Sorry about the rock, I didn’t mean to hit you. I just wanted to wake you up. Now I feel stupid.” Saying those words, Kíli became sullen, and muttered for himself “Yeah, stupid as a pile of rocks….”  
“What’s the matter Kíli?”  
“I argued with Fíli tonight. I feel bad, and I need…. A friend. So I thought about you.” Kíli was gazing at his boots, not daring to look at Khím in the eyes.  
She took his chin between her thumb and index and forced him to look up. “Hey, don’t look down. You’re not stupid. You taught me a lot of things. If your brother doesn’t acknowledge your worth, then he is the stupid one!”  
Kíli’s mouth smiled, but his eyes remained sad.  
“Oh, I see someone who needs a strong drink….!” Khím nudged Kíli in the ribs, trying to cheer him up. She took his hand and literally dragged him to the tavern.

Once arrived, they sat face to face in a quiet corner and Khím ordered some mead. According to her, it was the best remedy to sadness attacks.  
“Now, will you really tell why you woke me up in the middle of the night?”   
Kíli looked down again and twisted his hands nervously. “Fíli thinks I’m stupid because I gave you my axe. He says I disrespect my heritage and that I’m a fool for doing it.”  
Khím felt her guts twist uncomfortably. She knew it was a folly! She took Kíli’s hands in hers and their eyes met. Kíli looked like he was about to cry. Khím thought “Oh no, please don’t do that, Kíli… I don’t want to cry too. Come on, be strong!”  
“I can give you the axe back if you want….”  
“Certainly not! I gave it to you and I don’t want it back! I’m tired of being considered as the cheerful idiot of the family. Can’t they see I’m grown up now? I proved myself in battle, what else do they need???”  
Khím didn’t know how to answer that, so she smiled at her dearest friend, encouraging him to continue talking. But Kíli didn’t want to talk anymore. He just wanted comfort, and he found it in his mug.   
Khím felt desperate. She wanted so much to be able to comfort her friend, her brother. Without thinking, she suddenly said, “What if I meet Fíli? He could see your axe is safe with me. What do you think?”  
Kíli looked at her and began to smile. He liked this idea. He lifted his mug and clinked it with Khím’s, sealing their agreement.  
“Hey, look who’s smiling at last! You see, I told you anything sad could be cured with a good friend and some mead! ” declared Khím with a triumphal grin. “Let’s have another round!”  
Kíli looked at his friend as she went to the counter to ask for a refill. She wasn’t gracious at all but he liked the way she moved to make her way while avoiding already drunk dwarves.

Khím and Kíli were happy drinkers. After a while, they were even laughing at the bad and naughty jokes told by their drinking neighbours.

A few drinks later, they left the tavern with a feeling of utter satisfaction and were staggering enough to trip in every hole of the road. For better balance, Khím had her arm around Kíli’s waist, and his was around her shoulders. They stopped halfway in front of an abandoned barn whose roof was almost inexistent after years of uncontrolled decay. They felt so good together, they didn’t want to leave each other.  
Kíli turned to Khím and looked almost sadly in her eyes. He whispered, “I don’t want to go home…”  
“Me neither…”  
Kíli gestured towards the barn. “Do you think we could find shelter in this?”  
“I don’t know. Let’s give it a try.” replied Khím with a grin.  
The door was broken and the old mouldy wood protested loudly when they came in. The place was dry, dusty, and dimly lit by the starlight pouring through the holes in the roof.  
The two friends spotted a stack of old hay and decided it would be good enough for them.  
Khím and Kíli cuddled together under the light of the stars. Khím fell asleep quite quickly but Kíli stayed awake for a while, taking advantage of her sleep to caress her hair softly. Made bold by his drunkenness, he even dared to put a tiny kiss on her head.   
He was stargazing while thinking about how her naked body could look like when he heard her snore loudly.  
The sudden coarse sound made him laugh softly and he held her tighter in his arms before falling asleep.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Fíli was outside in the night, looking for his brother, his heart filled with regrets. Walking past the tavern, he spotted Kíli sitting in a corner. And he had company. Who was this person? Apparently, a red-haired male. But something was wrong. They were holding hands. Fíli tried to spy from a better angle but didn’t succeed.  
Apparently, the person with Kíli seemed to be a close friend. Fíli saw his brother smile and clink his mug with his friend. He seemed to feel good.  
Fíli turned around sadly, and headed back to his chambers in the mountain. He would talk to Kíli later.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The morning after, the sunlight mercilessly hit Khím and Kíli’s drunken heads. They were feeling like a couple of miserable wrecks. Suddenly, Khím remembered the sheet rope hanging from her window. Oh…… shit!

She jumped on her feet and ran as if chased by a pack of orcs. Kíli followed her as fast as his suffering body could. The two friends skidded to a halt once arrived near the little cottage.  
Khím’s parents were both waiting outside, and they looked furious.  
Khím muttered “You should go home Kíli, I’ll handle this.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Damn sure, I’m used to it, don’t worry. Now go, your family will be worried if you don’t show up. See you later.” replied Khím with a wink.

He did as she said and headed back to the mountain. He didn’t bother to wash or change clothes. He got straight to the breakfast table and sat without a word.  
Thorin snorted, shaking his head in disapproval, and went back to his breakfast, ignoring Kíli. He didn’t want to know what silly thing lead him to sleep outside once again.  
Fíli looked concerned and ill-at-ease. Kíli glared at his brother, and the two brothers became fascinated with the contents of their plates.

Later, Fíli knocked on Kíli’s door.   
“Who is it? What do you want? Go away!”  
“Let me in Kíli, I want to talk to you.”  
Kíli thought about inviting his brother to go to hell for a moment. But he hated to have fallen out with his brother. He took a deep breath and finally let Fíli in.

Fíli entered Kíli’s chambers timidly. His brother was seated on his bed, avoiding his eyes.  
He sat down beside him, feeling the dense tension between them.  
“Kee, I’m sorry I insulted you and your friend. I have no right to tell you how to behave and what to do.”  
Kíli looked at his brother’s sad eyes. He couldn’t be mad at him for too long, and Fíli looked genuinely sorry.  
“Apologies accepted, Fee. But from now on, you must swear you won’t play dad with me again. Agreed?”  
“Agreed.”

The two brothers fell in each other’s arms and hugged.  
“I looked for you last night, you know? I saw you talking to someone in the tavern…. And you were holding hands...”  
Kíli cut his brother short. “That person you saw was Khím. After our argument, I went to her house, and she took me to the tavern to talk. She was ready to give me the axe back…. But I want her to keep it… I’ve never been so sure of something in my whole life, Fee.”  
Fíli smiled and winked. “You sound like you’re in love, brother!”  
“No, I’m not!” Kíli answered with a funny shocked expression on his face. A deep red blush creeping from the back of his neck to the top of his ears betrayed him as well.  
“She’s just my friend!”  
“Oh look at that, he’s blushing like a maiden! My baby brother is in love! How sweet!” Fíli was grinning and laughing. He was happy for his brother, but also loved to tease him. He couldn’t help himself. The more Kíli looked embarrassed, the more he would insist.  
His face flaming, Kíli screamed, protested, and threatened his brother.  
Still giggling, Fíli had just the time to rush to the door and to slam it behind him before he could receive a well-aimed boot on his head.

Once Fíli out, Kíli sat cross-legged on his bed and hugged his pillow, his brother’s words torturing his mind. Him? In love? No way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to DrakkHammer and Ceallaig for the beta reading! What could I do without you?
> 
> Enjoy your reading and feel free to leave comments. They're always welcome :)


	4. The day after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be painful for Khím and Kíli, at many levels.
> 
> For many reasons, this part of the story has been really difficult and long to write, so I hope you'll find it good.
> 
> Enjoy your reading.

Khím squared her shoulders, adorned her face with an unimpressed look, took a deep breath, and walked towards her parents.

 Ibun took his daughter way too firmly by her upper arm and pushed her into the small house.

 “’Adad, you’re hurting me!” groaned Khím between her gritted teeth. The only response she got was a displeased grunt.

Ibun didn’t care about his daughter’s pain. In fact, she should feel lucky he didn’t directly smack her in the face.  
His shameless daughter. Why had Mahal cursed him with this child, why? Gerd and he had tried everything with her, but the situation was definitely out of hand by now.  
Khím the loose cannon, disappearing at night like a thief and returning home in the morning with straw in her hair and smelling of alcohol.

She’d been messing around with some male, it couldn’t be otherwise.  
  


Khím was sitting at the family table, her parents both standing in front of her with crossed arms and furious looks.  
  


She saw her father shutting his eyes tight and pinching the bridge of his nose, and she knew it wasn’t a good sign.

  
Gerd noticed it too and mentally prepared herself to try and prevent her husband’s arm from hitting too hard. Last time he had laid a hand on his daughter, she had got a black eye and huge bruises on her back.

 _“Please_ _Khí_ _m, don’t look at your ‘adad that way, you’re making it worse!”_ she mentally whimpered.

 

Khím lowered her gaze and waited, expecting her father’s anger storm.

To her surprise, Ibun heaved a sigh and sat down instead of blowing up right away. Then, the questioning began.

 

“Where were you last night daughter? And don’t lie to me!”

Khím held her father’s gaze and answered in the calmest way possible.

“I was in the tavern…”  
Ibun cut her short. “Ha! I knew it!!!”  
“Knew what? Listen, a friend of mine needed my help, that’s all. We did nothing wrong…”  
“You’ve been drinking! Do you think it’s a proper behaviour for a dwarrowgirl? And who’s that friend?”

Ibun was shouting again, punctuating each of his sentences with a bang of his fists on the table.  
Khím shrugged under the noisy assault. She dropped her gaze and said, almost muttering “Prince Kíli.”  
“Who?”  
“Prince Kíli!” Khím was holding her father’s glare again as anger was dangerously rising within herself. 

Ibun was abashed. One of the princes… and not the best one. It was worse than all he could have ever imagined. It had to end right now.

“I forbid you to talk to him! He might be a prince, but he’s not a good influence for you!”  
“How could you say that? You don’t know him!”  
“Oh, I know enough, believe me! You won’t go near him, do you understand?”  
“Whether you like it or not, he’s my friend and I intend to see him again!” Without noticing it, Khím had risen from her chair and was banging her fists on the table, unconsciously mimicking her father.  
“No, you won’t! As long as you live under my roof you’ll do as I say! Or shall I teach you again what happens when you’re disrespectful to me?”

 Gerd shrugged, making herself as tiny as possible while Ibun and Khím were yelling at each other across the room. Why was Khím so stubborn? She knew something terrible was going to happen again soon but she was paralyzed.

 From outside, one could hear the muffled sound of Ibun beating his daughter while his wife was begging him to stop.

 

***~~~~***

 

Later that day, Khím went to the forge with a dark purple bruise pulsating painfully on her cheekbone. Her back and legs were sore and she was sure she had at least one cracked rib. Just the thought of it made her wince as she entered the smiths’ hall.

 _“Shake it off, girl! It's only pain.”_ she admonished herself.

Her old master saw her bruised face but said nothing. It was none of his business.  
He had to go to Dale where he was awaited for some trade between Dwarves and Men since the town was being rebuild and needed proper tools and weapons. As the old dwarf trusted Khím enough to let her run the forge in his absence, he gave her his instructions and left.

Khím was absorbed in her work when she felt a presence in her back. She turned around and faced Fíli. She startled and immediately felt like a complete idiot. After one awkward second, she bowed and stammered “Y… Your Grace.”  
Fíli noticed the great mane of red hair, gathered in a messy bun, and suddenly it clicked. So _this_ was her!

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you. You must be Khím, daughter of Ibun. My brother told me a lot about you.”

Khím froze. She was so impressed by the prince’s charism, she couldn’t align two coherent thoughts or words together. She mentally insulted herself for being so easily upset. _“Stupid girl! He’s just a dwarf, prince or not!”  
_ She tried to reply in a casual tone, but only succeeded to say “It’s nice of him.”

An embarrassing silence settled for a while. Khím was staring stupidly at her boots, feeling more and more uncomfortable. Finally, she looked up and Fíli seized the opportunity to speak.

“I came to get those blades sharpened. Do you think you can do it fast?”  
He handed her his twin swords and an old hunting knife.  
Khím took the weapons with much care and examined them. She noticed a small chink in the knife’s tang.

“This knife needs some repair, your Grace. Look at this small crack. The blade will fissure and break soon if one doesn’t do something about it. This knife is too precious a blade to be wasted. I guess it’s in your family for a long time? It looks ancient.” All embarrassment was gone now that Khím was on well-known territory.

“Yes, you’re right. This knife belonged to my father. You can understand it has a great sentimental value to me…” Fíli’s voice trailed off in a whisper and Khím fidgeted uncomfortably. Finally, she mustered all her courage and said

“Your Grace?”  
“Yes?”  
“Do you want me to return Kíli’s axe?”  
  
Fíli looked at Khím, searching for an answer in her eyes. Sure that girl was uncommon, but in a good way. He could feel it, so he decided to yield some ground.  
“No, you can keep it. Kíli cares about you very much and you seem to be trustworthy. I know my father’s axe is safe with you now.” Sensing she was embarrassed, Fíli smiled fondly at her.

Khím thought she was about to turn into a puddle of water. Fíli was so kind to her, it was almost unbearable. She shook her head to come back to a normal state and decided to change subject.  
Gesturing towards Fíli’s swords, she said “I can have this done by tonight if it suits you, your Grace.”  
“Tonight will be fine, Mistress Khím. Better than fine.”  
  
Fíli bowed gracefully and took his leave, letting Khím go back to her work.

  
Prince Fíli… Khím’s heart was beating a wee bit faster than usual and she hated it. Having a crush on him, what a stupid thing! She had to regain control of herself and be strong.  
Love didn’t suit her… She didn’t want to feel so weak. Besides, she had nothing to offer. She was too tall, and ugly with her hairless skin. Who would be interested in her? Nobody. And certainly not him. A miner’s daughter and a prince, what a sick joke!

  
She took the swords and spent some time marvelling at them, lovingly caressing their runic patterns with the tip of her fingers. She would never own such beauties…  
She thought about the axe Kíli had given to her the day before. Even with the benediction of Fíli, she thought she should give it back. She definitely wasn’t worthy of such a gift.  
Bitter tears threatened to flow but she angrily forced them back.  
She had work to do.

***~~~~***

On Thorin’s request, Kíli was studying old commercial treaties in the mountain’s huge and dusty library. What a boring task… and his hangover didn’t make it easier at all. But he had to do it. After his poor appearance at the breakfast table this morning, he didn’t want to disappoint his uncle once more in the same day.  
So there he was, sitting at a table covered with piles of books and parchments, feeling miserable and massaging his temples while fighting against a terrible headache, when Fíli came in.

“Are you enjoying your work, brother?” asked the latter with a smirk.  
“Shut up Fee! It’s not the right moment to tease me… Ow my head…”

Fíli was about to leave his brother alone when he turned around and said “I met your friend Khím today…”  
Kíli immediately lifted his head up.  
“She looks like a fine girl. An odd one, but an honest one. I gave her my swords and my hunting knife to get them sharpened and repaired. She has a good eye regarding weapons, did you know that?”  
Kíli stammered “No… I didn’t know that… We don’t talk about her work often.”  
  
He suddenly felt guilty. He knew how much she loved her work, but instead of asking her about it, he only told her tales about his own family and adventures. _“What a prick I am!”_ he thought.  
He mentally promised himself to pay more attention to what she liked in the future.

  
Fíli’s voice brought him back to Arda.  
“Well, I’ll know soon if she’s really that talented. I asked her to finish her work by tonight.”  
“That’s a bit short, don’t you think?”  
“Not at all. She assured me it would be done in time and I believe her. Maybe you’d like to fetch my swords for me, so you two could have a little chat together?” said Fíli with a wink.  
“Sure. I’d like that.”  
“Oh, by the way, you should be more careful when you train her. She sported a nasty bruise on her face today.”  
“What?”  
Kíli immediately stood up, his eyes wide opened in shock and surprise.  
“Yep brother. You should pay more attention, even with wooden swords.”  
“But I never hit her in the face! I swear brother, such thing never happened!”  
“Hey relax, accidents happen! Do you remember the time you shot an arrow in our uncle’s back, when we were little? It was an accident too.”

Kíli was biting the nail of his thumb, pensive and worried.

 Thinking about his own duties, Fíli stretched his arms and arched his back.  
“Well, I should let you go back to your studies. Besides, I have a crazy amount of work to do myself. See you at dinner, brother!”  
“Yeah, see you at dinner…” replied Kíli absentmindedly.

He tried to focus on his task, but it was impossible. He had to find out what had happened (although he had already an idea about that), and help Khím if she needed it.

***~~~~***   
  


The afternoon was lazily stretching towards the evening and torches were being lit when Kíli headed to the mountain’s forge.

  
Khím was on her own, focused on her work, her brows so much frowned in concentration that she looked angry at something.

She was wearing her eternal worn out boots, laced leather breeches, an ample man’s summer tunic, and a leather apron. Her untamed red hair was tied high on her neck in a chaotic bun, and stray locks were everywhere. From where he was standing, Kíli could see that her forearms were blackened by a mix of soot and sweat.

Kíli coughed to get her attention.

For the second time of the day, Khím startled with surprise, and this time she almost dropped her hammer.

“Oh it’s you! Do you and your brother have special powers, because you two made me jump out of my boots today?” She was smiling, but her bruise made her wince a little.

“Don’t hug me, I’m covered in soot! I don’t want to put dirt on your fine clothes.”

 Kíli crossed the space separating them in two long steps and hugged her. She grimaced from the pain in her back and ribs but no sound came out of her mouth. 

“I don’t care about my clothes. I care about you. Fíli told me about the bruise on your face. What happened?”

 Hearing those words, Khím suddenly withdrew into herself.  
“I’m fine, it’s nothing.”  
“No, it’s not fine! Please tell me what happened?”  
“I said, I’m fine so leave it!”

 

Khím was glaring at the only person who cared about her and she hated herself for that. But she couldn’t tell Kíli about her father’s violent outburst. She didn’t want anyone to know.

 Kíli was desperate, but he decided to respect her will. Maybe someday, she would talk to him.

 “All right, I won’t bother you anymore. I just came to get my brother’s weapons back.”

 Khím handed him a carefully wrapped package and Kíli muttered a thank you.

He lifted up his head to pay her and say goodbye. But something was wrong. Khím had dropped her head, avoiding his gaze, and her hands were balled into tense fists trembling on each side of her body.  
Suddenly, Kíli noticed the glimmer of a tear falling from her face.

He dropped the swords carelessly and put his hands on her shoulders while she was shivering almost convulsively, breathing heavily through gritted teeth.

With much care, Kíli cupped the wet cheeks of his friend, wiped away the tears with his thumbs and lifted her head up, forcing her to meet his eyes.  
Her gaze was so full of suffering and anger, he was speechless and feeling completely disarmed.  
Desperate to soothe her, he put a small kiss on her forehead and held her carefully in his arms.

Khím’s dam finally broke, and she let herself go in Kíli’s arms, crying away her pain while he was gently rubbing her back and whispering sweet comforting words in her ear.

At length, she stopped crying, but her breath was still erratic and filled with ugly sobs. She took a step back to rub her red swollen eyes and finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry Kíli. Because of me, you have snot on your shoulder.”  
Kíli smiled and laughed, his smile eliciting a chuckle from his friend.

“Oh you’re so silly sometimes…” he said, wiping tears of laughter with his knuckles.

After a moment, he reached out and squeezed Khím’s shoulder.  
“It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me who did that to you, but you can understand I worry about you, right?”

Khím’s mind was battling with conflicted feelings. _“Don’t tell him a thing! No one must know!” “He’s your friend, you should confide in him and you would feel better.”_

She looked at Kíli, her questing eyes hopelessly looking for answers in his’. She saw concern, honesty, friendship, and brotherly love in Kíli’s gaze. Could she afford to lower her guard? She didn’t know, but she realised she desperately needed to let it all out, and Kíli was here for her, supporting her. Putting her pride and caution aside with great effort, she finally decided to let go.

 “All right” she said in a defeated tone. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but you must promise to keep it secret! If you betray my trust, you’d better run fast ‘cause I could hurt you really really bad!”  
Kíli swore immediately to keep her secrets for himself. He never had to experience her wrath but he didn’t wish to know what it could look like.  
“Ok, give me a few minutes to close the forge and let’s go somewhere outside. I need some air.”

Kíli helped Khím to tidy up and she closed the smiths’ hall for the night.  
“Where could we go?” asked Kíli.  
“Definitely not the tavern…” answered Khím while she winced because of a sudden sharp pain in her ribs.

Kíli cast her a concerned look. He wanted to take her hand, to put an arm across her shoulders… to touch her.

 

***~~~~***

 

Finally, they decided to walk to the lake. The air was lukewarm after a particularly hot late summer day and a breeze was playing with the high branches of the trees, making them sway and whisper softly in the night.

They sat down on the bank of the lake, and for a moment, they got lost in the contemplation of the dark sky lit by a very bright moon and myriads of stars.

At length, Khím cleared her throat. She sought courage profoundly within herself, and when she began to talk, words flew from her mouth like blood out of a deep wound. Her gaze was far away, lost on the shimmering surface of the lake.

 Kíli listened to her attentively, knowing how privileged he was to be the recipient of her confessions. His eyes widened in horror when she told him about the source of her bruises and cracked ribs.

“He beat me because he thought we had sex last night.”  
“What??” Kíli almost chocked on his spit. Hopefully, the night hid the violent blush invading his face from the back of his neck.  
“Yeah you heard right…. As if it would ever happen…”

Kíli looked at her, puzzled, but her gaze stayed riveted to the water’s shining black mirror.

“Having sex, what a joke… I should begin with being in love with someone and I know it won’t happen either. I don’t want to become weak and idiotic!” She angrily threw a rock in the lake, and they both got hypnotized by the riddles growing on the water.

Kíli was totally lost. His heart was pounding hard in his chest as his mind was attacked from all sides. He wanted to avenge Khím and take her away to some place she could be safe, but her words about love had stabbed him right in the heart. Then he realised Fíli was right. He was in love. He was screwed. Totally screwed. Oh Mahal.

 “Kíli, are you with me?”

Khím was watching him, looking for a sign of life in his eyes.  
  
“Yeah… Yeah, I am… Totally. Come here.”  
  
Without thinking, he gathered Khím gently in his arms.

“What can I do to help you? Do you want me to talk to Thorin about it? Your father should be punished! No dwarrowdam or girl should be treated that way, it’s against our laws!”  
  
“Oh no, please don’t do that! You know, it’s just a matter of time until I leave my parents. My apprenticeship is almost finished and I’ve been saving money for quite a time to buy a mobile forge and a cart, so I can rent my services in the towns of Men. A nomadic life would suit me well I think… And thanks to you, I can defend myself quite decently now.” She smiled, but Kíli didn’t notice it for he was so worried about her future.  
  
“But how can you leave your parents without getting married? They’ll never agree to let you go on your own.”  
  
“Don’t worry. It will be just another disappointment to add to their collection. My ‘adad already thinks I’m some kind of whore, so it won’t hurt him much if I leave. Oh, and he hates you by the way.”  
  
“What? Why? He doesn’t even know me!”  
  
“He forbid me to talk to you. Apparently, you’re a bad influence for me.”  
  
Kíli muttered “What a jerk.”  
  
“Yeah I know. It’s unbelievable.”

 

Another silent moment settled, but it wasn’t an awkward one. The two friends were enjoying their closeness, and when Khím shivered from tiredness, Kíli held her just a little bit tighter and sighed.

“Why this sigh?” asked Khím.  
“I’m thinking about all the things you just told me. If you don’t want me to report your father, fine, I won’t do it… But there’s something else.”

He gulped, feeling like standing on the edge of a precipice.  
  
“I’d be sad if you leave. I’d miss you. You’re the closest friend I have.”  
  
“Oh that’s sweet,” Khím replied with a smile. “I’d miss you too. You’re the only friend I have.”

She was looking fondly at him, smiling, her eyes locked to his.  
  
Kíli felt the urge to kiss her, and before letting his mind decide if it was a wise move or not, he cupped her face in his palms and kissed her lips.

 Khím jerked in surprise and freed herself from his embrace, a shocked look in her eyes.

“Kíli, what the hell???”  
  
  
It was a nightmare and he was going to wake up. Well, bad news, it was reality and he had just fucked it up big time.

 

“Oh Mahal, Khím, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened! Oh no, what have I done?”

 Khím’s heart was racing, pounding painfully in her chest and against her injured ribs.

 “I should go.”

 Her voice was cold and her words cut like a sharp knife in Kíli’s heart.

 “No, please stay. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to assault you. Please forgive me.”

 Khím cast him a suspicious look.

 “No, I should go. It’s late and I don’t need another scene tonight. Good night Kíli.”

 

She rose up and left, going straight to her home without a single glance behind.

 

Kíli stood on the spot, in a state of shock mingled with shame. Utterly angry at himself, he cursed loudly in the night. _“Well done_ _Kí_ _li,”_ he thought. _“You just lost your best friend.”_

 

Feeling completely devastated, he carried his broken heart back to the mountain.

 

***~~~~***

 

Once arrived, he put Fíli’s weapons in front of his door and headed straight to his chambers, avoiding the dinner with his family.

 He wanted to be with Khím. He wanted to die.

 Why on Arda had he kissed her?

  _“Great. Now she must think I’m a maniac….”_ he thought before letting himself fall on his bed.

 

Kíli almost didn’t sleep that night, for his heart was consumed with shame and remorse. If only he could go back in time and erase that moment.

 

He remembered that brief instant, when his lips had met Khím’s, and he shivered. He had kissed her, but he had done it without her consent and he suddenly felt sick. He had to do something, he had to apologize, but how could he mend his manners?

For now, he was too ashamed to meet her, so he decided to write her a letter.

 

So close yet so far, two young dwarves were unable to sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tons of thanks to DrakkHammer and ceallaig once again. By fixing my errors and advising me, you help this story to grow as well as my confidence.
> 
> To my few readers : I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, or if you didn't, please write a little comment. I'm totally open to constructive criticism, and I'll answer you all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his disastrous display of affection, Kíli feels extremely guilty and wants to fix things with Khím. The latter is not in better shape...

[The following sequence has been directly inspired by this picture of the Glow Worm cave in New Zealand]  
                                        

 

Kíli’s sleep was agitated. His eyes moved fast beneath his eyelids and a sudden spasm of his legs kicked the sheets aside. A faint moan escaped his lips. He was dreaming.

  _“Kíli…”_

A soft and feeble voice was whispering his name in the darkness of an immense cave, far within the mountain’s depths. The air was dank and musty.

 Kíli’s eyes were slowly being accustomed to darkness when hundreds of tiny bright green fluorescent spots appeared on the cave’s walls. _Bioluminescent mushrooms…_ He was about to touch one of them when a sudden draught made him startle and shiver. Quickly, he took his hand away from the wall, now frightened to go near the eerie glow in front of him.

 There was something fearsome about this place. The young prince could feel it, although he couldn’t tell precisely what it was.

  _“Where am I?”_ he mumbled for himself.

 Kíli crossed his arms tightly against his chest and rubbed them in a desperate attempt to warm himself.

 The sudden sensation of a presence nearby made him instinctively reach for his dagger but he realised he had no weapon at all and he began panicking, moving nervously in every direction possible to try identifying the threat.

_“Kíli…”_

“Khím?” His voice bounced loudly on the cold stone walls, making him shrug.

 Another gush of air snaked between his ankles, almost forcing him to move forward. He felt the cold and humid rocky floor beneath his bare feet for the first time. _“Why on Arda am I barefoot?”_

Kíli shivered once again but stepped further into the cave, all his senses on the look-out.

 The air grew damper and chillier as the grim glowing of the mushrooms intensified and a thick veil of fog formed itself around the young prince. Blinking while holding a protective hand in front of his face, Kíli began to distinguish a figure, ghostly floating behind the fog.

 Slowly, a hand reached out through the mist. The tiny hairs on the nape of his neck instantly rose. He knew this hand by heart.

“Khím!” Kíli’s voice echoed once again in the silent cave as he tried to reach out and take the extended hand in front of him.

 He barely had the time to touch it before it slowly drifted apart like smoke on the breeze.

 Kíli let out a desperate cry, jolting awake in his bed, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

 

 A few instants later, a worried Fíli appeared in Kíli’s room, daggers in hands and ready to strike.

 

“Fíli! Bad dream!” blurted out a shocked Kíli, panting and shrivelled in his bed. “You can put your daggers down, I’m all right.”  
Kíli’s shoulders slumped and he took his head in his hands. After heaving a ragged and shivering sigh, he rubbed his face furiously.

Fíli sat down on his little brother’s bed and swung a comforting arm around his shoulders.  
“You had a bad dream, eh? Was it about the battle? I still have some… sometimes.”  
“No, it wasn’t about the battle… It was a strange dream, I mean a really weird one… I was in it… and Khím was there as well.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?”

Kíli sighed and looked briefly at his brother before dropping his head sadly. “I don’t know… Fee… I did something wrong last night.”

Fíli cast him a concerned look before asking softly “What did you do Kee?”  
The latter put his hands together in his lap, his head still held down. Finally, he managed to blurt out “I’ve kissed Khím without her consent… You can’t imagine how ashamed I am.”

For a moment, Fíli remained silent while looking incredulously at his brother. He couldn’t believe Kíli had forced someone into a kiss, so he asked for the whole story and listened with much attention.

In the end, he looked compassionately at his little brother and said “So… this is it. You really love her, don’t you?”

Kíli nodded sadly and heaved a deep sigh before whispering, “Yes, I love her.”

He held his head up to look at Fíli in the eyes and asked, looking melancholically at him “Do you think I’ve lost her? I bet she doesn’t want to hear about me anymore, even as a friend. I’m an animal.”

“Well, I don’t know her as much as you do, but I think you should try to see her, at least to apologise, don’t you think? And stop saying nonsense. You’re no animal. You’re just a passionate young dwarf in love.”

“I’m way too ashamed to meet Khím! I thought about writing her a letter but I don’t even know if she can read…” 

Fíli took his time to think before replying, “A letter is a good idea. Yeah, I think you should do that if you’re too shy to speak to her.”  
“But what if she doesn’t want to hear about me anymore? I’d die of grief Fíli I swear!”  
“You can’t know that if you don’t try, brother. And believe me, you won’t die of grief. You’ll suffer a lot, for sure, but you won’t die.”  
Kíli arched an eyebrow and cast a suspicious look at his brother “What do you mean?”

For an instant, the draft of a bittersweet smile formed itself on Fíli’s face. Then, he looked at Kíli and smiled fondly at him.  
“I was in love once… But it wasn’t reciprocal.”  
“Oh Fee, I’m sorry. When did it happen? You never told me about this!”  
Fíli chuckled softly. “I’m not supposed to tell you everything, am I?”

Kíli pouted and faked to sulk. “I can’t believe you hid this to me!”  
“You were so young. I thought you wouldn’t understand, that’s all.”

Seeing that Kíli wouldn’t leave him alone, he added “It was Brynhildr, ‘amad’s chambermaid. I was only forty… And she obsessed me beyond measure. One day, I mustered my courage and asked her if I could court her. She refused immediately, telling me I was too young, that a maid could not be loved by a prince, that she didn’t want to lose her work and other nonsense. I tried to convince her to change her mind but she always rejected me. In the end, she was very mean and she told me terrible things so I would leave her alone. When I understood I had lost the battle for her heart, I felt heartbroken for months… but time healed me slowly. So when I tell you that you won’t die, you can trust me brother.”

 Kíli was dumbstruck. How had he done not to notice his brother’s heartache?

“I’m sorry Fee… I don’t know what to say.”

Patting his brother’s back, Fíli replied “You don’t have to say anything Kee, it’s all right. It happened long ago. I just hope you can fix things with Khím, whether she’s your One or not. She must be shocked and lost just like you. Now go back to sleep, little brother. It’s nearly dawn.”

 

***~~~~***

Khím awoke early after a bad night sleep. Her blankets were on the floor, her legs tangled in the sheets and all her body was aching.

 She also felt a weird and disturbing feeling deep inside her guts. Trying to ignore it, she sat down in her bed, but she soon sighed and dropped her head in her hands. Memories were resurfacing.

 She remembered the kiss, her panic and her sudden departure. She had run through the woods until her legs had given way. Leaning against the bark of a tree, she had taken a deep shaky breath before letting herself slide to the ground.  
Slowly, she had raised her hand to her mouth and pressed shy fingertips to her lips. Kíli had kissed her. The sensation she had felt at that moment was still haunting her. It had been warm and nice but so sudden… and so wrong.

  _Why me? Why him? Why would he care?_

Biting her fingernails, a bad habit she had when she was nervous, Khím tried to think straight. And she failed miserably.  
Every time she was thinking about that fleeting moment, her body heat would rise and a strange but pleasing sensation would pool within her lower abdomen.

  _Kíli, his dark gentle almond shaped eyes, his hands softly cupping her cheeks, his lips on hers, his stubble slightly tickling her…_

She shook her head and tightened her thighs together in order to get rid of this disturbing sensation but it didn’t help at all. On the contrary, the friction increased the heat radiating within her intimacy.

She swore loudly and jumped out of her bed to race to the well in the small yard of the cottage, such in a hurry she forgot to put her boots on.

Once there, she drew an entire bucket of cold water and quickly poured it on her head. She gasped and squealed from the shock and soon her teeth clattered, but her arousal was at least gone.

Shivering, she came back to her room and got rid of her damp nightshirt. Before putting on dry and clean clothes, Khím decided to inspect her body.   
She had dark bruises on her legs and arms. Those on her back couldn’t be seen because she had no mirror but she could feel them. She raised a hand to her face and touched her left cheekbone to feel the swollen contusion caused by her father’s large calloused hand. She instantly winced and hissed through her gritted teeth.

Brooding over her anger, she saw the axe she had delicately wrapped in chamois leather not so long ago.  
With a sad sigh, she took the package, sat down still naked on her bed and unwrapped the weapon.

The axe was magnificent. Once again, Khím traced the runes adorning its handle.

aznAg (aznâg, courage), amnAS(amnâs, loyalty).

Small gems, sapphire and amethyst, were inlaid in the pommel, encircling the royal seal of Kíli’s family. The blade needed to be cleaned and sharpened.

She thought about Kíli’s father, forging the axe for his wee lad, waiting for him to be old enough to try it. But fate had decided to part a son from his father the day he had died in battle. And now, this axe, Kíli’s most cherished treasure, was hers. He had given it willingly because he cared about her.

Without warning, all the ill words of her ‘adad invaded her mind, spreading like poison and clouding her thoughts.

_Worthless…. Disappointing… Ugly… Stupid… Unlovable… Disgrace… Whore…_

Bitter tears threatened to flow and she angrily blocked them, breathing harshly through her nose.  
This axe definitely belonged to the royal family, not to her.

 The young dwarrowgirl replaced the axe on the chamois leather and wrapped it with much care before getting dressed. She had taken her decision.

 In the small dining room of the cottage, Khím greeted her mother.

 In a single look, Gerd knew that her daughter wasn’t well. She noticed her wet tangled hair, her pale face, the fatigue and the sadness in her sea-green eyes. The sight of the bruise on her cheekbone made her wince. Gerd was ashamed. Ashamed of being passive, unable to protect her own child. Ashamed of being so helpless when Ibun was around.

 Gerd realised she was staring into the void when Khím repeated her question twice, every time louder than the previous one.

“ _’Amad_ , are you ok?”  
“Yes Khím, I’m all right. I was just far away. What do you want for breakfast, sweetie?”  
“I’ll have whatever is ready to eat. And don’t call me sweetie! I’m not a child anymore.”

 _Here we go again… Why are you so aggressive every time I try to show my love for you?_ Gerd sighed and gave her daughter a loaf of bread, honey, and hot tea before sitting down next to her.

The two women ate in silence, brooding over their respective thoughts.

At some point, Gerd tried to gently tuck a stranded curl of hair behind Khím’s ear but the latter startled and shrugged nervously to reject her.  
Khím’s reaction filled Gerd with sadness. She was losing her daughter. Soon or later, she would leave, with or without her parents’ consent.  
Sad and resigned, Gerd watched her unique child stuff her pockets with dried almonds before leaving for work with a package under her arm.

Absentmindedly, the old dwarrowdam cleaned the table and washed the dishes. This day, she wouldn’t go to work and stay at home to clean and tidy up the house, accomplishing one of her numerous duties as a good spouse.

 

***~~~~***

 

Khím loved everything about the forge. The heat of the charcoal fire, the smell of white hot metal, the song of the hammer hitting the anvil, the hissing of the ardent blades plunged in the water of the cooling barrel… She felt like at home each time she entered the smiths’ hall of Erebor.

As usual, she greeted her master, an old grumpy dwarf who didn’t pass out compliments easily. Every morning, Khím would say hello with a sunny smile and a bow. Every morning, he would reply with a nod and a vague mumbling. It was his own way of being friendly.

He had known Khím was talented from the first day, and he was hoping she could run the forge after his retirement in a few years. Of all his apprentices, she was the best and he was very proud of her. She was also the only girl working in the forge, but he didn’t care about that. She was his apprentice and nothing else mattered. Of course, the other boys had tried to heckle her at the beginning, but it had been nothing a good punch in the nose couldn’t settle. She definitely was Ibun’s daughter.

The old dwarf knew Khím’s father well. They had fought side by side in battle more than once, though none of them were soldiers. Every time the old smith saw Khím arrive with bruises on her face or arms, he would wince internally. He knew Ibun was violent, and he didn’t understand why Khím’s father was so harsh with his unique child. Normally, dwarven girls were cherished like precious treasures. Therefore, Ibun’s behaviour was totally incomprehensible, but no one had the right to interfere with his family business. No one.

Like every day, Khím threw herself into work, though her usual enthusiasm was altered by some kind of melancholy. She had realised she wouldn’t spare with her best friend this afternoon. Once again, she had no friend at all.

This day, she volunteered to stay until the night and her master agreed with a grunt. During the afternoon, he let her alone in the forge to run errands in the merchants’ hall nearby.

Khím didn’t notice she was observed by a pair of sad hazel eyes.

 

***~~~~***

 

Kíli had spent the whole morning entrenched in the immense library of Erebor, trying to write her a letter. _Dear Khím…. My dear Khím…. Khím…._ Nothing seemed to fit! Kíli didn’t want to seem needy or clingy, and he was feeling like a complete fool.

After several hours of struggle and a few crumpled pieces of parchment, he had managed to write a short note he was determined to bring to the forge while she wasn’t there.

Seeing her working alone and late in the afternoon had paralysed him in his impulse. He was standing nearby the opened massive wooden doors of the smiths’ hall with his letter in hand, unable to go further.

After a few moments of sheer embarrassment, Kíli had decided to man up and come up to Khím to speak to her. After all, why would an heir of Durin be intimidated by a girl? Kíli was battle ready, so why would he be unable to address a woman?

Mustering all his courage, Kíli knocked on the heavy door and loudly cleared his throat.  
Khím turned around and flinched a bit at the sight of Kíli standing in front of her with a furrowed brow and a determined look.  
An awkward silence settled. Without warning, Kíli strode towards Khím and stuffed his letter in her hand before turning around a leaving without a word.

Khím was still trying to figure out what had happened when Kíli reappeared on the threshold of the smiths’ hall. He looked mortified and his sad puppy eyes briefly made Khím smile despite herself.

“The letter… have you read it?”  
Khím shook her head negatively, her lips sealed by nervousness and her heart pounding a bit too hard in her chest.  
“Listen, I um… I wanted to apologise for last night. It was silly and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I really don’t know what took me. I’m truly sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Kíli was trying to make eye contact with Khím while she was obstinately holding her head down in embarrassment.

“Khím, please look at me.”

Very slowly and with great effort, Khím lifted her head up and plunged her gaze into Kíli’s, sea-green eyes meeting golden brown ones.

Kíli asked, his eyes shining with hope “Do you still want to be my friend?”  
  
Khím was on the verge of panic, unable to think straight. Looking once more at her feet, she finally blurted out “I don’t know. I… err… I need some time alone to think. Now please go, you’re making me nervous!”

Kíli was feeling like he had be struck by lightning. She didn’t know if she still wanted his friendship. She didn’t know! Was it a polite way of saying “I don’t want to see again”?

His heart in pieces, he managed to mutter “Ok, I understand” before leaving, going straight to the tavern in order to get as drunk as possible. He wanted to sink into oblivion after this disastrous encounter and so he did.

Fortunately, Dwalin was there and proved to be the greatest drinking companion ever.

At the end of the night, the experienced warrior picked up Kíli after he found him almost passed out on the floor, ale spilled all over his clothes, mumbling nonsense to every person willing to listen to him.

Acting as he were on the battlefield, he took the young prince in his strong arms and carried him back to his chambers in the mountain.

 

***~~~~***

 

The morning after, a violent and nauseous headache welcomed Kíli’s awakening. Through the thick fog of his hangover, he tried to remember last night’s events. Little by little, the pieces of his mental puzzle came back and joined together. The more he was remembering things, the more he felt terrible.

 _I need some time alone to think. Now please go, you’re making me nervous!_ That’s what Khím had said.

Fíli was right, he was going to suffer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like each time, I'd like to thank my lovely friends DrakHammer and ceallaig for their advice and patience. Girls, you're amazing!
> 
> To my readers : thank you for stopping by, thank you for the kudos :) But don't be shy, please leave a comment. It doesn't have to be long. Just tell me if you liked or disliked what you read. Telling me why you liked or disliked this chapter would be a great help for me ;)


	6. Dale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer's almost over in Erebor and Khím's feelings are still confused. Her 'amad decides to take her to Dale to have a break and try to cheer her up but Khím gets lost in the city...

 

Sitting cross-legged on her bed, Khím read Kíli’s letter for the umpteenth time. She knew it by heart but she didn’t care. The style was direct and clumsy, impulsive, touching and sad, desperate with yet a faint glint of hope.   
A glint of hope… She didn’t know if turning back and being friends again was possible. Of course they couldn’t change the past. Neither of them could erase that damn kiss. That damn haunting kiss. In a flashing instant, Khím was on the lake’s shore again, Kili’s hands cupping her face, his lips on hers…   
With an irritated sigh, she let herself fall on her back, still holding Kíli’s letter.   
  
_“Do you still want to be my friend?”_  
  
Khím knew she wanted her best friend back. She loved everything about him, except his tendency to get sentimental over her. How could she be certain he wouldn’t act stupidly again? He had sworn he wouldn’t do it again but she didn’t know if she could trust him. He had spoilt everything but how much she missed him!  
For the umpteenth time, Khím crumpled the letter and threw it across her room with a loud curse. And for the umpteenth time, she picked up the ball of parchment to carefully smooth it out before hiding it under her mattress.

From downstairs, Gerd heard sound coming from her daughter’s room and instinctively looked towards the ceiling. Khím had been acting strangely lately but it’d been impossible to have a clue about what was going on.   
Gerd had powerlessly witnessed her daughter getting sad and irascible. Nevertheless, the old dwarrowdam was determined to cheer her only child up, or at least to convince her to spend her free time somewhere outside of her room.  
Today, she wanted Khím to accompany her to Dale’s marketplace to sell fine cloth with her. The young dwarrowgirl had accepted reluctantly, maybe in a moment of weakness but she had agreed and it was all that mattered. Gerd was eager to do everything in her power to take her daughter away from the forge. She had heard she was doing a fine job there but she was more worried about her marital status. What if she’d never find a husband? Dwarrowdams were rare so every one of them should get married, at least to carry on the Dwarven race. Gerd was firmly convinced of that.

“Are you going to Dale dressed like _that_?” Gerd shook her head as she saw her daughter coming down the stairs with her eternal male clothes on.   
“What’s wrong with my outfit _‘amad_?”  
“Everything, _nâtha_ , everything! Can’t you wear a dress sometimes? Is it too much to ask? And look at your hair! Can’t you try to comb it? Birds could nest in there!”  
Used to those remarks, Khím rolled her eyes and walked past her mother without answering to sit down in front of her breakfast.  
She ate and drank absentmindedly, her confused thoughts still whirling within her mind.  
While Gerd gathered their goods, Khím took care of the pony and the cart.  
Today was going to be a long day.

***~~~~***

Why on Arda had she agreed to go to Dale? Khím was brooding on her discontent while helping (not so much) her ‘amad selling cloth on the renovated marketplace of Dale. At one point, Gerd got so annoyed by her daughter’s negative attitude that she dismissed her and advised her to go for the longest walk possible in town so she would stop ruining her commerce.  
  
Dale wasn’t too bad looking, thought Khím as she strolled through the cobblestone streets.   
Almost five years after the great battle, the city was thriving again. Cleaned of all the remaining debris from the battle, the streets were agreeably sunlit and one could find small stalls at every corner. Street vendors were singing the praises of their products while musicians, dancers and jugglers were captivating young and old alike.  
  
Feeling thirsty, Khím stopped by one of the numerous fountains of the town to slake her thirst. While sitting on the edge of the fountain, she overheard that the trees had offered their first fruits this very year, bringing joy and hope to the hearts of the refugees from Esgaroth.  
  
Now that summer was slowly giving way to autumn, the weather was more agreeable and the nature was progressively attiring itself in warm colours. People had taken the habit of sitting outside in front of the shops and homes at nightfall to enjoy the last warm evenings while drinking, smoking and chatting.   
Life was definitely back in this formerly forsaken city. However, nothing could drag Khím’s mind away from her concerns.  
  
Her head full of gloomy thoughts, Khím walked without paying attention to where she was going and finally got lost. She slapped her forehead and cursed herself when she realized she had no idea of where she could be. Of course, she had no way to get her bearings: there were no shops or big buildings, or even people, in this part of the city. Only a few half-collapsed lonely houses were standing here and there and the day would start to fade in less than two hours.  
  
As there was no point in panicking, Khím decided to sit down for a while and have a quiet smoke before trying to find her way back to the market. Her parents disapproved that particularly bad habit she had taken from her master in the forge. At the end of good days of work, they were used to sit on a stone bench outside of the smiths’ halls of Erebor and smoke a pipe together.  
  
Khím let the smoke fill her lungs before exhaling quietly, almost in a pleasured sigh, long streams of thick smoke through the late afternoon air. Smoking was helping her to calm down. She had something easy and pleasant to focus on for a change.  
  
From where she was, she could make out the mass of the mountain and the main gate of Erebor in the distance.   
Erebor… She had respected her father’s will and followed her parents to Erebor five years ago. But since the day of their arrival, she had missed her home in the Ered Luin. Erebor was a ruin. There was something creepy about this place, even if she could feel its former magnificence. The dwarves dwelling there weren’t nicer than those she knew.  
With a chuckle, she remembered her first encounter with Dwalin and Ori. They both had eyed her as is she was a strange animal. Maybe it was her strong language, maybe it was her unusual attire, or her physique. She still didn’t know. But as time went by, the two Dwarves got to know her better and were now friendly to her. Though, she never succeeded in making female friends.  
  
Heaving a deep sigh, she beheld the landscape that was spread in front of her.   
As far as she could remember, she always had that deep unexplained desire for travelling, changing places, meeting new people. Living in seclusion in a mountain wasn’t what she liked. She always craved for wide open spaces and volunteered to go outside to gather wood or hunt in the forest. Her mother didn’t mind, but her father highly despised this tendency she had to sneak outside for fresh air whenever she could. Dwarves belonged to the stone and nowhere else!  
  
Without warning, Khím’s thoughts wandered towards Kíli once again. She hadn’t seen him for weeks now, almost a month and a half since the day he had given her his letter.  
A sudden access of melancholy hit her like a punch to the stomach. She felt so lonely without him. She needed him, his presence, his laugh, his cheekiness, even his sass.  
_Now stop with this sappy nonsense!  
_ Urging herself to react, Khím swallowed back her grief. Why was she feeling that way about him? She hated to be so weak, so easily upset just because of one dwarf. Shaking her head, she tried to light up her pipe again but there was nothing left to smoke in it. She sighed with disappointment and stood up. It was time to go anyway.

As the sun was slowly setting fire to the sky, Khím emptied her pipe from the remnants of burnt weed and began her walk through windy alleys and cobblestone streets while searching for the marketplace.

In the bend of a particularly dark alley, she ran into another dwarf who was too busy running to actually pay attention to where he was really going.   
“Oy! Watch it!” spat Khím while rubbing her sore forehead, her eyes shut tight.   
“Khím?”   
The young dwarrowdam literally froze as she recognized the voice of Kíli.  
“Kíli? What are you doing here?”  
“No time to talk! I gotta run!”  
_Run?_ Khím looked behind Kili and soon heard running steps and angry shouts coming her way.   
“Mahal hairy balls…” she muttered.  
But Kíli had already left after a quick panicked glance behind his shoulder.

Four furious men rushed past Khím, shortly followed by Fíli who was unsuccessfully trying to stop them. Khím and he only had the time to exchange a questioning glance. Barely slowing down, Fíli grabbed Khím by the hand and they both ran after Kíli and his pursuers.   
  
“What’s happening?” asked Khím while running alongside Fíli.   
“Kíli got into trouble… again! This is serious business this time and I might need your help!”

  
Totally forgetting about her mother, Khím rushed with Fíli through the tortuous streets of Dale until they saw the group of men gathered on a small desert plaza. Kíli was nowhere to be found and it was visibly driving his pursuers mad.  
  
Fíli and Khím skidded to a halt and quickly hid in the shadow of a little arcade.

The men were looking all around, pacing angrily on the plaza and cursing.   
One of them approached the arcade with inquisitive eyes, making Khím and Fíli hold their breath, their hearts pounding hard, and silently praying he wouldn’t go nearer. They were about to be discovered when someone called to stop the research.  
  
After a while which seemed excessively long to Khím, the group scattered without noticing the dwarves in their dark hiding place.

Khím and Fíli waited a little bit more before allowing themselves to breathe again.   
“I think they’re gone for good… You can let go off my hand now.” Fíli said with a chuckle.   
“What? Oh… “Khím lowered her gaze and realized with horror she was grabbing Fíli’s hand tight. She let go the prince’s hand as if she had got burnt and mumbled the most confused apologies of her entire life as her whole face was turning violently red with shame.  
“I… err… I’m so deeply sorry your Grace! I didn’t mean to… touch you. “  
“It’s all right!” Fíli chuckled once more “You have a pretty firm grip, young Mistress!”  
  
He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, reliving in his head the events preceding the chase.   
“That was close…!”  
“Aye…” Khím wiped her brow with the back of her hand before she dared to ask « Your Grace, what did Kíli do this time?”  
  
Fíli was about to answer when a hand tapped his shoulder discreetly from behind his back. Kili was simply standing there, looking very proud of himself. Maybe a little too proud.  
  
Before anyone could say a word, Fíli hit his brother hard in the shoulder, making his cheeky grin instantly turn into a pained grimace.   
“You idiotic half-witted troll! What were you thinking?”  
“Ow! This punch was totally unnecessary! Once more, I won this game of dice without cheating, I swear! It’s not my fault if those chaps took it bad. Who do you think I am?”  
Fíli sighed and shook his head, grumbling reproaches and that his foolish brother would be the death of him one of these days.

When they were little, Fíli had told Kíli he wasn’t good at hiding things. Apparently, Kíli had made progress on that matter in the course of the years. Here he was, only inches away from the girl he was in love with and yet he was successfully concealing his feelings by acting completely casual. Well, not completely. He was talking way too loudly and his hands had a language of their own.

On her side, Khím was obviously looking uneasy and wasn’t trying to hide it. Kíli’s attitude was so exaggerated it could have been amusing. But not this time.  
  
Suddenly remembering where she should be, Khím interrupted Fíli’s rant. “I should be going. I came to the marketplace with my ‘amad and I’ll be in trouble if I don’t come back there before night.”  
  
“Mistress Khím, I’m sorry I dragged you into this chase… Yes, you may go if you need to. I’ll accompany my fool of a brother back to the mountain _before he gets killed_ ” Fíli said with a dark glare for his brother who only rolled his eyes as a response.   
“Aye, I agree with you, your Grace” Khím replied with a hint of a smirk.  
  
She bowed to Fíli and was about to leave when she remembered she didn’t know which way she should go. With much shame, she asked the princes how she could find her way back.   
“We can walk you back if you want? The marketplace is on our way.” proposed Fíli.   
Khím cast a quick nervous glance at Kíli and tensed. After a short internal fight against her hurt pride she accepted this unexpected escort.

The trio walked back to the centre of Dale with much precautions, checking every street corner and carefully avoiding the surroundings of the tavern.   
  
Arriving at the marketplace, the two princes explained to a puzzled Gerd that they had found her lost girl and had offered to escort her back to safety. Khím mentally thanked them for this tale, knowing her ‘amad was positively impressed by Fíli.

They all came back together to Erebor, and Fíli intentionally took the lead of the group with Gerd to let his brother and Khím have some privacy. Khím noticed it and spent a large part of the journey with her fisted hands tucked in the pockets of her coat and a grumpy and uninviting expression on her face.  
  
Kíli was torn between his happiness of being close to Khím again after too many painful weeks without her and the discomfort he was feeling in her presence. She looked so angry, so retreated into herself, so feral. Where was his joyous and playful friend?  
He had been surprised to see her literally clinging to his brother’s hand under that shady arcade. At this precise moment, a violent access of jealousy had stricken him. Then, understanding had come. They weren’t flirting. Good. Yet, he still felt bad.

From time to time, Khím and Kíli cast sideways glances at each other and hands involuntary brushed against one another, feeding the tense awkwardness between them. After a few moments, Kili took a chance and gently nudged Khím in the ribs while walking. He smiled at her when she turned her head, and to his relief she smiled back just before staring silently at her boots for the rest of the trip. _At least, she doesn’t look like she wants to murder me anymore_.  
  
Smiling inwardly, Kíli thought he could hope a little after all.

 

***~~~~***

 

Summer went away brutally this year and the chill of autumn took everyone by surprise.

In his chambers, deep inside the mountain, Kíli got up with a shiver. The fireplace was long cold and the stone floor nearly froze his bare feet.   
He hurried to put on some warm clothes and joined Fíli and Thorin for breakfast.

  
“Good morning!” Kíli chimed in as his brother and uncle welcomed him with broad smiles.  
 “You both look particularly merry today. Can someone explain, please?”  
  
With a wide grin on his face, Fíli answered “’Amad is coming for Durin’s day!”  
Kíli froze in surprise. Had he heard well? He stupidly repeated his brother’s words “’Amad is coming… for Durin’s day?”  
“Yes brother! Isn’t it great?” Fíli was almost bouncing with excitement.   
“’Amad is coming for Durin’s day!”   
It was as if the two princes were dwarflings again. They were holding each other by the shoulders with large smiles on their faces.  
  
Thorin looked at them fondly. His joy was equal as his nephews’ but he celebrated the good news in his own discreet way, keeping his feelings buried deep in his heart. He fed the freshly arrived raven before inviting him to take some rest in the royal aviary.

“Will ‘amad stay with us? I mean permanently?” asked Kíli, his eyes glistening with hope.   
“I don’t know, but I hope she will.” answered Thorin carefully. “Don’t get carried away Kíli.”   
“But I miss her, and I want the family to be reunited…”  
“I know, my lad, I know. Me too.”  
  
Suddenly Fíli spoke “We should celebrate Durin’s day this year, uncle. It would be the first celebration since we reclaimed Erebor… Our people need it and earned it as well. Don’t you think?”  
  
Thorin looked at him very seriously for a few seconds, then his features softened and he smiled at his nephew, the future king under the Mountain. “You know what? This is a very good idea.”  
Once again, the princes burst into cries of joy. Celebrating Durin’s day, with their mother and every Dwarf of Erebor… what a great perspective. There would be food and drink, songs, music and dance!  
  
This day, Kíli accomplished all his duties without complaining, even the most annoying ones. Absolutely nothing could cloud his joy. All he had to do now was to convince Khím to come to the feast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neo-Khuzdul words :  
> 'amad : mother  
> nâtha : daughter
> 
> Tons of thanks to DrakkHammer and Ceallaig for their help, patience and support!
> 
> I'd like to thank my few readers as well. Feel free to leave a comment, even a small one. They are very much helpful and highly appreciated ;)
> 
> You can visit me on Tumblr : http://mayyourbeardnevergrowthin.tumblr.com/


	7. Nurtu Durin (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dís leaves her home in the Ered Luin and travels through Middle-earth to join her brother and sons for Durin's Day.   
> Meanwhile, Kíli and Khím meet again. 
> 
> I'm sorry, I just suck at summaries! Enjoy your reading :)

Dís was traveling light and fast. 

 

She had departed from her home in the Ered Luin six months ago to follow the Great East Road, aboard an uncomfortable wagon with a small escort of two experienced warriors and had swapped her regal attire with simple travel clothes. 

 

Her first stop in the Shire had been a relief for her sore body.

 

Unlike the barely polite welcome she had experienced in the towns of Men, the Hobbits had been very hospitable, and a certain Bilbo Baggins had offered to put her up for a few nights before she hit the road again.

 

Of course, she knew about Bilbo Baggins for he had been a member of his brother’s company six years ago in that foolish quest for Erebor. She also knew Thorin had found a great friend and maybe more in that tiny agitated being. Her brother had sent her long letters mentioning Bilbo a lot and she had read them with great interest as the ghost of a smirk had shown on her lips. Thorin rarely spoke of his feelings, and suddenly the Hobbit was invading his correspondence. He had to be a very special person to occupy Thorin’s mind so much.

 

The night before her departure from the Shire, Dís and Bilbo were sitting and chatting in front of the fireplace in Bag End after a very copious dinner. Dís had noticed Bilbo was fidgeting in his seat from time to time but had said nothing. Just before going to bed, the Hobbit had given a small package to the dwarrowdam. It was carefully wrapped in a smooth green cloth, and Bilbo had specified it was for Thorin and Thorin only. Dís had taken the package and sworn she would give it to her brother in person.

 

The day after, Dís had left the Shire with plenty of food and the good wishes of the Hobbit.

 

The journey between the Shire and the Last Bridge near the Trollshaws felt like the most boring thing ever. The road was bumpy, the weather always dismal, and the landscape monotonous. And it lasted weeks.

  
Spending a long time on the road always put Dís in a melancholic mood.   
She was ten years old when Smaug came to claim Erebor. From that disastrous day, her life had changed drastically.

 

Thrown into exile, the noble dwarrowgirl had lived a wretched and painful existence on the road, always on the move and learning life the hard way. Little princess Dís, who once was a rich royal child, had been changed into a wandering beggar. A sore body, an empty belly, and sleepless scared nights had been her lot for many years before her kin had settled in Dunland.

 

After the bitter victory of the battle of Azanulbizar, Dís’ father, Thraín, had led his people to settle finally in the Ered Luin and live in peace.

 

Later, she and her brother Thorin had patiently built a thriving realm, and she had met the love of her life, the father of her children. He wasn’t royalty, and she didn’t care. Knowing by experience that one’s life could collapse any time, she had been a passionate lover and a caring mother for her two sons Fíli and Kíli, the bursts of sunshine of her life.

 

The day she lost her husband and the years that had followed had been the darkest times of her existence. At one point, she had thought she was doomed to lose the men she loved the most. Then, she had always privileged the happiness and well-being of her sons before her own, and Thorin had been a great help in the education of the boys.

  
  
The day he had told her he would take her two sons on his quest to reclaim Erebor, Dís had argued a lot with Thorin.

 

She had already lost her grandfather, her father, one of her brothers, and her husband. Thorin had no right to take her boys from her! But the lads were over the moon with this quest and wanted to be part of the most glorious adventure of their life. She knew they needed to have a life of their own and leave her, but this was too soon for her taste.

  
She knew Fíli would act like a responsible being, and she had made him swear to look after his brother.

 

Kíli… Kíli was too young and reckless to go with the company. Dís had never questioned his fighting skills, and she knew he was pretty competent with a bow, but his spontaneous temper could bring him many problems.

  
On the eve of their departure, Dís had called Kíli in her room. She had given him too much advice and had made him swear to come back to her alive and in one piece. Kíli had rolled his eyes and told her not to worry about him. Nevertheless, he had taken the engraved labradorite stone his mother had insisted on giving him as a token and swore to take care of himself.

 

When her sons had departed with Thorin, she had cried all day long. She had to take care of her people and had focused on her tasks, but the absence of her sons had been almost unbearable.  
She had missed the laughter of Kíli and the peaceful presence of Fíli. Each day without them had been torture, and it had lasted more than a whole year.

 

The day a raven had arrived from Erebor carrying good news from her kin, Dís had cried again but from relief this time. Her sons and brother had made it alive! Erebor had been reclaimed. It was good news. Nevertheless, she hadn’t felt the urge to join her kin there. Erebor wasn’t her home anymore. This place was linked to too many bad memories and childhood nightmares.

 

When she had replied she had taken the decision to stay in the Ered Luin, Dís had known she was taking the risk not to see her children before long. Almost five years without seeing the face of her beloved sons had gone by, and there she was, finally on the road to Erebor.

 

She was still deep in her thoughts when she realized her convoy had stopped near the Trollshaws for the night.

 

Dís carefully stepped out of the cart to relieve her sore back and legs and helped to gather firewood for the camp before cooking the rabbits her bodyguards had hunted in the forest.  
Just a few days and they all would sleep in real beds in Rivendell, where the Elvish Lord Elrond was waiting for them.

 

***~~~~***

 

During the weeks after their encounter in Dale, Kíli had tried to meet Khím again.

 

As if she were a wild animal he had to tame, he just showed himself at a safe distance during a few days, catching her eye just to nod or bow to say hello. At first, she had avoided his glance and kept her head down, but on the fifth day she had dared to look at him and had nodded back. A week after, he had tried to wave and smile at her while reducing the distance between them and she hadn’t fled. Even better, she had smiled back.

 

One day, Kíli had mustered all the courage he had and came to talk to her. _She’s so feral_ , he thought, _I hope it’s not too soon_.

It had been clumsy but fruitful. She had finally agreed on seeing him again to resume her sword training with him. They had settled to meet one afternoon in the training halls of the mountain.

 

On the day of their meeting, Kíli was nervous. He was pacing in the big hall, trying to think about choosing a weapon to begin with when Khím came in, snow all over her clothes, a bit out of breath and her face reddened by the cold.

 

“Sorry, I’m late! I had to lie a bit to get there… My parents still disapprove our… err…” she looked for a word she never found and didn’t finish her sentence, letting her last words hang in the air.  
Kíli smiled nervously and said “I don’t want to get you into trouble. Are you sure you can stay?”  
“Yes, I’m sure” she snapped while taking off her gloves and her thick coat, before stomping her booted feet on the ground to get rid of the snow.

 

“So, what are we doing today?” she asked merrily while rubbing her hands together to stimulate the blood circulation in her cold fingers.  
“I guess we could begin with sword combat? Did you train these last months?”  
She held her head down and just said: “No, I couldn’t.”  
“Don’t worry. It will all come back faster than you think.” Trying to look casual, he gestured towards the swords rack. “Come on, take a sword.”

 

Khím chose a wooden sword, happy to feel its weight in her hand. She had missed this so much! She had missed her best friend too much as well…

 

All of a sudden, she looked at Kíli straight in the eyes and just said: “Thank you.”  
Caught completely off guard, Kíli tried hard to keep a straight face, but his eyes instantly betrayed his emotions.   
“For what?” he asked in a strangled voice.  
“For talking to me again. You could have let me down. Listen, I’m sorry I rejected you after… _what happened_ … at the lake. But you surprised me, and I… I didn’t know how to act with you anymore!” Her face was flushed and her glance anxious. Kíli was about to talk, but she wasn’t apparently finished with her confession.  
“I missed you. There, I said it.”

 

“I missed you too…” Kíli’s voice was hardly above a whisper.  
He tentatively reached out, and Khím didn’t back away. They both quickly crossed the space between them and Kíli embraced Khím in a fierce hug.

 

The two friends were united again, both grinning and chuckling in each other’s necks.

 

Kíli’s heart was aching, but he wanted so much to have his friend back he was ready to bury his love in the deepest place he could find in his heart.

 

At length, Khím and Kíli broke their hug and all the turmoil from the past months seemed to be behind them. Both relieved they laughed, the echo of their merry voices booming through the training halls.

 

Khím’s combat abilities were a bit rusty, but she found her good reflexes back pretty fast. Sparring helped her to blow off steam, and she enjoyed every minute spent with Kíli. It was like last summer had resumed where it had stopped. The awful feelings and tension she had nursed during the recent months seemed so ridiculous now. It felt so good to be naturally at ease with Kíli again!

 

After their sparring session, the two friends sneaked out in the kitchens to brew hot spiced tea and steal a stack of scones. Once settled next to a roaring fire, they unwrapped their booty and started sipping their tea.

 

“This tastes awfully good! I don’t have this at home…” said Khím with a hint of bitterness she instantly regretted. Ignoring her, Kíli just smiled and warmed his hands on his steaming mug before daring to say “It feels good to have you back.”  
“Yeah it does…”

 

An awkward silence settled and Kíli hurried himself to break it.

 

“Did your parents receive their invitation?”  
Khím raised an eyebrow “What invitation?”  
“Thorin decided to celebrate Durin’s day this year. All the dwarves are invited.”  
“Oh… No, sorry, I didn’t know. But I’d be glad to come! I remember the celebrations we had in the Ered Luin. We didn’t celebrate Durin’s Day with the likes of you, I mean the royals, but we had fun.”  
“Well this year we shall share the fun all together!” replied Kíli with a big grin on his face. “Oh, I can’t wait to be there! And my ‘amad is on her way to join us! Isn’t it nice?”  
“I see you’re excited about it; there’s no doubt,” she said with a chuckle.  
“I can’t wait to introduce you to her!”

  
Khím almost spit her tea “What?! Why do you want me to meet your mother? Are you crazy?”  
Kíli looked piqued at her reaction, and Khím softened. “I mean, I don’t belong to your class. Why would you introduce me to your mother? I’m sorry if I vexed you, I truly am.”  
“No, it’s all right. You’re my friend, and I don’t think about that “class” thing… I am a man, you’re a woman, and we’re friends. That’s all that matters to me. I just thought you and ‘amad could get along together. She’s a really nice person, that is.”

 

Khím gently patted her friend’s arm “I’m sure she is. Look, it’s getting late, and I have to go.”  
“Do you want me to walk you back? It’s already dark, and I bet it’s still snowing.”  
“Nah, it’s not necessary. I’ll show myself out. I’m not living so far away, remember?”  
“All right, if you say so” answered Kíli with a smile “Off you go!”

 

Khím was about to leave when she paused and turned back to look at Kíli, who was now absentmindedly playing with scones crumbs. “It’s good to have you back,” she said with a genuine soft smile before adding a cheerful “See you very soon!”

One playful wink and she was gone, striding along through the stone corridors towards the gates.

 

Kíli watched her go and remained seated at the table until Bombur and his cooks arrived to prepare the evening meal.

 

He was relieved and happy beyond measure to have his friend back. She had forgiven him, and she still valued their friendship. The young prince felt his heart swell at that thought.  
Now, there was one person he had to meet to share what had just happened. Kíli rose from his chair and started looking for Fíli.

 

***~~~~***

 

Dale. Dís blinked twice to be sure she wasn’t dreaming.

 

In her memory, this city was just a pile of ash, burnt bodies and collapsed buildings. And now, almost two centuries after Smaug’s attack, the city had been partly rebuilt and was full of people going about their business. Her heart swollen with joy, she began the descent towards the valley leading to the main gate of Erebor.

 

***~~~~***

Kíli and Fíli were pacing along the ramparts for hours when a sentinel spotted the small convoy in the distance. A modest wagon and two horsemen were riding towards the main gate of the mountain.

 

The two brothers grinned to each other in excitement and ran to fetch Thorin.

 

Dís just had the time to dismount before being assaulted by both sides by two tornadoes of filial love.

 

“’Amad!” cried Fíli and Kíli in unison, grabbing their mother and peppering her cheeks with kisses.

 

Dís chuckled merrily under their tenderness attack and waited patiently until her sons release her from their embrace and let her speak.

 

She looked at them with watery eyes and said after a huge sigh “My loves, my children. Five years without seeing you…. And look at you: the two of you, my babies, more beautiful than ever and all grown up. I love you so much! How I missed you!”  
“We missed you too ‘amad” answered Fíli.

 

Dís and her sons crossed the gate of Erebor, shortly followed by her two bodyguards who had protected her from the dangers of the roads during all these months. Thorin greeted them and showed them the way to the tavern. Then he gave his instructions to a pair of servants who hurried themselves to unload the wagon and take the horses to the stables.

 

“ _Nana’_ I’m so glad you’re here,” said Thorin while holding Dís in his arms. “See? I took care of your boys” he added with a smile.

 

The reunited family headed to the royal quarters and Dís got installed in the most comfortable armchair with spiced tea and biscuits near the fire while a bath was prepared for her to relax after her long journey. Fíli and Kíli wanted to stay with her, but Thorin had almost to kick them out of the room to allow her some rest. “Come on lads, let your mother recover from her journey! You’ll see her at dinner, don’t you worry. She won’t vanish! Now go. Away with you! Go!”

 

“Thorin?”  
“Yes, _nana’_?”  
“I have something for you, from master Baggins.”

 

Dís swore she saw her brother’s eyes widen for a second. She handed him the package entrusted to her by the Hobbit six months ago. Thorin opened the green cloth delicately to reveal a shiny acorn. The fond look Dís read on her brother’s face talked much more than words.

 

“Thank you, _nana’_. Thank you for keeping it safe. ”  
“You’re welcome, _nadad_. What will you do with that acorn?”  
“I’ll keep a promise made to a friend” Thorin replied with a smile. “I will plant this acorn in the garden once it’s restored, so it can grow and become a tall oak. Now, with your permission, I will take my leave from you. You must be exhausted.”  

 

Once alone in a comfortable bed for a nap, Dís closed her eyes and memories instantly resurfaced. She was ten years old again, a small child and Smaug was attacking her home. The smell of burnt dwarven flesh invaded her nose, and she felt on the verge of sickness. She shook her head to chase the bad memories away, but a feeling of anxiety was still there, lingering in the back of her mind.

 

She wondered how Thorin felt about that. Reclaiming this cursed place and living inside the mountain again.

 

Rummaging through one of the trunks she had brought along, she admonished herself to be more positive regarding the mountain. _It’s your homeland, your birthplace, and this mountain belongs to your family. Thorin was right to reclaim it._

 

Dís finally found the dress she was looking for and got ready for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for your patience, kind readers. I went through a massive case of writer's block, and I hope I'll be able to provide you with the next chapter sooner.
> 
> If you aren't done with this story, tell me what you think?


	8. Nurtu Durin (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to enjoy Durin's Day celebrations!

Durin’s day was approaching. Valleys and forests were now covered in thick late autumn snow, and so was Erebor.

 

The mountain was buzzing like a bee-hive while every dwarf contributed to the preparation of the feast.

One week before the beginning of the festivities, a delegation from the Iron Hills had arrived. Dáin had come with his counsellors and also with his spouse and children. His wife was so calm and discreet she was almost invisible beside his boisterous self. His son and direct heir, Thorin Stonehelm, and his two daughters, Iliana and Kára, obediently followed him wherever he went.

 

Young Thorin was his father’s spitting image, red-haired and obstreperous (when his father wasn’t around). The daughters were as blonde and reserved as their mother. However, Kíli couldn’t help but remark that the youngest one, Iliana, had a tendency to mockery and gossip. Many times he caught her wrinkling her nose in something that looked like disdain. Some parts of Erebor still needed to be restored, of course, but the royal quarters had been brilliantly refurbished and even improved. Still, it wasn’t up to her standards, apparently.

 

The young princes had been quite excited to have visitors although, of course, they already knew Dáin for they had fought side by side during the Battle for Erebor. Kíli and Fíli immediately befriended Dáin’s son who was only two years younger than Kíli and the trio spent the following days sparring and hunting for the feast.

 

During these joyous and carefree moments, all sense of protocol was forgotten, and Kíli couldn’t stop thinking about Khím. She would have loved sharing those activities with them. He hadn’t seen her since their last training session weeks ago, and he missed her greatly. He wondered if she would come to the Durin’s Day’s celebrations. She had seemed quite eager to come when they had talked about it, so he hoped she hadn’t changed her mind.

 

***~~~~***

 

On the eve of the feast, Thorin summoned his heirs to an extraordinary Council session. Kíli hated those long dull meetings. That’s where he felt like being a prince and an heir to his uncle’s realm didn’t suit him. Fíli was perfection incarnate and would be a good king. Not him.

 

Kíli had grumbled and protested, and even tried to fake a cold, but he ended up in the Council Room after all, dragged there by Dís after a harsh negotiation only she could win.

So there he was, sulking and bored to death when he heard Fíli’s name introduced to the debate.

 

To the princes’ surprise, Thorin and Dáin announced a political union between their clans. This union would be sealed by the wedding of Fíli and Kára within two years to give them the necessary time to get acquaintanced with each other.

 

Fíli and Kíli were stunned for a moment. Arranged marriages weren’t a common practice among Dwarves. Moreover, the choice of a partner for life was usually left to the women. Deep in shock, Kíli witnessed the following events as if he was outside of his body, his vision narrowed and out of focus.

 

As Fíli accepted his fate with the dignity of a future sovereign, Kíli felt a wave of revolt swell inside him.

How could that be? Would Fíli leave for the Iron Hills? Couldn’t his brother choose his spouse himself? What if he and Kára didn’t love each other?

All these questions spun inside Kíli’s mind until the meeting was over. The shocking news left him unusually silent and laconic, and Dís noticed it. Of course.

 

***~~~~***

 

Kíli retreated into an obstinate silence as he and his mother walked through the dark green corridors leading to the royal lodgings.

 

Once in Kíli’s chambers, the dwarrowdam calmly closed the door and sat beside her son.

 

“I told Thorin you wouldn’t like this idea,” Dís muttered.

“So you knew about all this? My brother isn’t an animal one sells on the market, and neither is Dáin’s daughter! Thorin can marry that princess if he wants! Why does he not marry himself, huh?

 

Dís let her son calm down before she spoke again.

 

“You’re afraid to lose Fíli, aren’t you?” she asked with a soft voice. “Life may separate you but he’ll never cease to be your brother and love you, like he always did since the day you were born.”

“I know, ‘amad. It’s just so sudden. I know Fíli’s Thorin’s heir and all, but he’s my brother. What if he goes away and live far from me? ”

“Oh, Kíli, you’re not a little child anymore. You can’t stay attached to Fíli’s hip until the end of times, can you? Look, I see you’re sad, but this marriage can be a good thing. I have known Kára since she’s a pebble, and she’s a very good person.”

“Unlike her sister,” muttered Kíli. Dís chuckled. She had noticed that young Iliana was a terrible child.

“Aye, you’re right. This lass is a real pain. I’m glad she wasn’t chosen to be Fíli’s future bride.”

“That would have been awful, indeed,” Kíli said with a wry smile.

 

***~~~~***

In the evening, Fíli heard a soft knocking on his door.

 

“It’s Kíli. May I come in?”

“Of course, you may. And since when do you bother knocking?” Fíli’s amused tone unsettled Kíli.

“I just wanted to check on you. After this morning’s council, you must feel… I don’t know… odd?”

“Why should I?”

 

Kíli’s eyes widened.

 

“How can you be so calm about it???”

“It’s my duty as a prince, and there’s no point questioning it.”

“But… How… Don’t you care at all?”

“Of course, I care. Kára and I have two years to get to know each other. She seems to be a very nice woman, and she’s actually quite pretty.”

 

Kíli couldn’t help but to notice the faint blush on his brother’s cheeks and rolled his eyes.

 

“But nice and pretty isn’t enough! What if you don’t _love_ her? What if there’s no passion?”

 

“Tell me, what do you know about love and passion, baby brother? Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt? Dreamed of them every night and thought about them all day? Have you ever suffered from rejection and heartbreak? Have you?”

 

Fíli’s voice had grown harsher and louder as he had spoken. His face was now frozen in a hurt and angry expression, his lips tightly pressed together and his nostrils flaring.

 

“I don’t need to love her. I don’t want to. All I wish is someone nice and who doesn’t play with my feelings. If it must be Kára, so be it! She’s as good as any other woman.”

 

Kíli stared at his brother as if he was a total stranger. How could he be so bitter and cynical? Then, he remembered. Fíli had been in love once. Only once. That Brynhildr had broken his heart mercilessly. Fíli had said time had healed him. Kíli’s poor brother had lied to himself, apparently.

 

Fíli huffed at Kíli’s expression.

 

“You’re really too sentimental, brother. Grow up a bit.”

 

Definitely vexed and sad, Kíli left his brother and found comfort in several pints of ale from the tavern that night.

 

***~~~~***

 

Kíli’s head was throbbing painfully. And it wasn’t only because of his hangover. All day long, he had to entertain Princess Iliana, listen to her inconsistent babbling without falling asleep on his feet, and force himself to smile politely and laugh at her jokes. Even the most boring school days with Balin hadn’t been this agonising. The girl was literally a spoilt rotten pest.

 

Fortune smiled on Kíli at last when she decided to retire to her chambers and change for the evening. According to her, that task would take at least two hours, mainly because of the _sheer incompetence of her chambermaids._

 

As soon as Iliana closed her door, Kíli ran and found shelter in the infirmary.

 

“You’re lucky to find me here, laddie! I was about to close and get prepared for tonight. What can I do for you?” 

 

Óin was in a cheerful mood, and Kíli smiled despite his headache. A few minutes later and his remedy in his pocket, the young prince was on his way to his chambers.

From the end of a corridor, he caught a glimpse of his brother walking side by side with Kára, her hand resting on his arm.

 

They seemed to get on quite nicely, and their quiet smiles hurt Kíli more than he would ever admit.

 

***~~~~***

The two royal families were placed on a dais overlooking the Gallery of Kings. Large wooden tables had been lined up with the pillars, and immense draperies had been hung just behind them to hide the passages used by the servants. After long hours of tortured thinking, Thorin had decided to keep the golden floor intact, to never forget what had happened there years ago when he was being consumed by his madness.

 

After a brief speech to welcome all his guests no matter their rank, Thorin had wished a happy new year to his people. The stern king had been left behind, and a cheerful sovereign was now enjoying the feast and the good company of his close family.

 

Soon, the first dishes were brought to the tables. They had pike soup cooked in white wine and butter for starters, along with beef stock with herbs and hard-boiled eggs wrapped in finely minced meat and fried. Small pastries filled with seasoned chicken, hare or lamb, and various cheeses completed the starters.

Bombur’s cuisine had been appreciated when the Company was on the road, even when game was rare, but tonight he and his brigade had really surpassed themselves. And it was just the beginning of the festivities.

 

Kíli was relieved Iliana was seated at the other side of the dais. He couldn’t have handled her company one minute more. He noticed that Fíli, however, was making eye contact with Kára from time to time, just to raise his dark ale mug and smile at her. The young prince nudged his brother in the ribs and snickered.

 

“Look who’s already besotted!”

“I’m not!” Fíli huffed. “I’m just pleased to know her. She’s intelligent, sweet, and beautiful. We could be good friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, _good friends_ …”

Kíli laughed when his brother swatted the back of his head.

“Talking about friends, where’s yours?”

Kíli’s smile vanished. Khím was nowhere to be seen.

 

A few minutes later, a small group entered the gallery, and Kíli spotted Khím’s parents. He craned his neck in hopes to catch a glimpse of his friend, looking for her unruly cascade of red hair and worn out clothes.

What he saw instead made his jaw drop in awe.

 

Khím was there, hidden for an instant by the massive presence of her father. As he moved further to greet friends, she revealed herself, hesitant among the crowd. She was wearing a deep green and carmine fine linen dress, the deep square neckline revealing a tiny glimpse of her modest, freckled bust.

Her hair had been tamed and braided in an intricate way with special beads to indicate her single status.

A simple golden necklace and earrings completed her outfit.

 

The poor girl was looking desperate and ill at ease. Her moves and gait weren’t hers. Even her smiles were faked.

 

“She’s beautiful…” Kíli breathed. The familiar tug he felt in his belly when he was in Khím’s presence intensified as he admired her. The change in her appearance was stunning. The boyish girl was gone, as was the forge apprentice. A beautiful woman had taken their place.

 

“Don’t forget to breathe, brother,” Fíli whispered with a mocking grin. Kíli gulped hard, his glance still fixed on his friend.

 

Khím was living the most dreadful hours of her existence. Her corset was painfully tight against her ribs and made breathing difficult. Not being able to walk at her own pace was terrible. She felt trapped. Her dress and high heels forced her to do tiny steps with wobbling ankles and knees. The woollen stockings were scratchy. Not knowing what to do with her arms, she was alternatively crossing them under her chest and letting them hang at her sides as if they were dead. Most of all, Khím felt awfully exposed, almost naked, without her ample tunic. The heat of the hall provided by the fire pit, the torches and the candles was suffocating her.

 

The dwarrowgirl had the feeling that mocking looks were fixed on her, so she hung her head in shame. She just wanted to run away and hide in a hole until she saw Kíli. The two friends exchanged a shy wave, and their eyes sent the same message to the other: _Please, save me!_

 

Kíli was looking quite dashing in his fine clothes, and, for once, his hair was neatly combed and braided.

Such sophistication wasn’t him at all, but Khím admitted it did suit him well.

 

With a heavy sigh, she sat down, glad not to have to walk anymore, and thanked the servants who filled her plate and mug. Her corset prevented her from eating and drinking excessively, and she felt stuffed after a few bites. It was a real shame because the roast ox basked with ale and honey was scrumptious.

Frustrated, she avenged herself on the mead until her head was agreeably swimming.

 

***~~~~***

The dinner was over after savoury almond biscuits and creamed pancakes accompanied with varied preserved fruits. The royal family had had imported Shire wine, and everyone basked for a while in the relaxing feeling of a filled stomach and good company.

 

But soon the dance took place, and the Gallery of Kings resonated with the happy song of fiddles, flutes, and drums. Thorin had brought his harp, but he kept if for the later, quieter hours.

 

Kíli seized that moment to disappear from the dais, afraid of being obliged to dance with Iliana. Agile and discreet, he disappeared behind a drapery and walked down the servants’ corridor until he came out of the hall unseen and found a quiet spot to smoke a pipe outside, and in peace.

 

Shivering in the cold crisp air, he reached the ramparts. The night was calm, and the sky was surprisingly clear. Up high, the last moon of autumn was shining brightly.

 

“Hey!”

 

Kíli nearly dropped his pipe when he heard a sharp whisper behind him. He turned around and saw that a certain someone had had the same idea.

 

Khím was draped in a thick fur, and something was dangling from her hand. Her corset. Kíli’s eyes grew wide, and he blessed the darkness hiding his blush.

 

“This wardrobe is a menace!” Khím hissed before dropping the garment to the floor. “I managed to unlace that bloody dress, but I can’t put it back together completely. Help me, will you?” She turned around without waiting for an answer.

 

“Uh, sure…” Kíli wished his voice could sound manlier and less meek. He put his pipe down and took the hanging laces with trembling fingers. He could always blame the cold for that.

 

Khím giggled. “Your fingers are glacial!”

“Sorry,” Kíli replied while fumbling with the laces. One last sharp tug, a simple loop, and all was fixed.

“Aaaah, thank you! Really, I owe you on this one. Why don’t those damned dresses have the laces on the front? It doesn’t make sense!”

 

Khím let herself fall ungracefully onto a stone bench, and looked at her sore feet, imprisoned in fancy shoes. Kíli sat beside her and cast her a sympathetic look before playfully bumping their shoulders. He knew it would make her smile.

 

“I miss my old boots. Those bloody shoes will be the death of me.”  
“I can’t say I know how you feel, for I’ve never worn such… err… dressy shoes- Owww! What was that punch for?” Kíli whined while rubbing his shoulder. “That hurt!”

 

“You talk about pain? Try wearing a corset!” Kíli snorted and they both had to chuckle.

 

“Thanks for not making bad comments about this horrendous outfit, by the way,” she muttered.

“Hey, I want to live, I’ll have you know!” Then, Kíli hesitated, and decided to be honest. “I think you look adorable in this dress.”

“Me? _Adorable_?” Khím huffed “You’re a terrible liar, Kíli!”

 

And they both laughed, but for different reasons.

 

“Mahal’s beard!” Kíli exclaimed when he saw his friend take biscuits out of the front of her dress.

“Want some?” she asked, her mouth already full. “I couldn’t eat with this damn thing,” she said as she kicked her corset “So I had to lay in supplies.”

Kíli laughed merrily. “You’re a resourceful woman, mistress Khím!”

“Yes, m’lord, aye, sure I am! But you won’t be the one with crumbs between the breasts!”

 

Kíli almost choked on his spit and Khím roared with laughter. She had to pat (actually slap) his back until he had recovered.

 

“You’re so disgusting,” Kíli huffed with a broad grin while internally wondering if the biscuits would have an extra taste now.

“Thank you very much, my Prince!”

 

They shared the fur, the biscuits, and the pipe in comfortable silence, both thinking: _why can’t life be as simple as that?_

“So, how’s life, your Highness? Long time no see,” Khím asked in a playful tone.

“Could be better.”

“What’s wrong?”

 

Kíli didn’t know if he could answer this question. He wanted to. But he decided against it, and Khím didn’t pressure him.

 

After a few minutes, they decided to go back to the warmth of the mountain. The night was still young, and the festive music was calling them.

 

***~~~~***

 

Khím’s feet were itching to dance, but they were strangled in those impractical shoes, so she got rid of them. And of the itchy stockings too. Her dress was still too tight for her taste, but she felt a bit freer already.

 

“Would my Prince care for a dance?” Khím asked with one of her awkward curtseys that never failed to make Kíli laugh.

“With pleasure.”

 

Kíli took Khím’s hand and lead her to the golden floor where a merry crowd was already dancing.

The two friends stomped, swirled and bounced to the music’s fast-paced rhythm, a broad smile on their faces. Kíli’s concerns temporarily disappeared in a whirl of joyous melodies. As long as he was holding his best friend’s hands, he felt like he could accomplish anything.

 

Out of breath and slightly dishevelled, they stopped to drink some light red ale. Khím’s parents were out of sight, and Iliana was busy chatting with her handmaiden. Nothing could spoil the two friends’ fun.

 

Slightly inebriated and drowsy from the dance, Khím forgot to watch her step. She tripped on the hem of her now too long dress and fell to the floor with an undignified squeak. She heard the fabric of her dress tear. The crowd around her gasped.

 

In an instant, Kíli was beside her to help her on her feet as she cursed under her breath, mortified with shame. Behind them, a pearly laughter rose. Iliana had seen everything, and now she was guffawing among her court maiden. Kíli felt his friend shiver with anger. He tried to tighten his grasp around her arm but she freed herself with a jerk, and he knew it was already too late.

 

In two strides, Khím was nose to nose with Iliana.

“Oi, you! D’you think it’s funny? Don’t ye have bloody manners?” she growled, anger making her Blue Mountains’ accent thicken.

 

The young princess froze briefly. No one had talked to her like that in her whole life. Her cheeks red with anger, she shouted: “How dare you attack me, you impudent peasant? Don’t you know who I am? Assaulting a princess could cost you!”

 

“I don’t give an orc’s ass about who ye are! Ye’re just an impolite spoiled brat!”

 

“Kíli, will you do something about this? This is an outrage!”

 

Hearing Iliana shriek and stomp her feet spurred Kíli into action. He grabbed his friend abruptly by the shoulders and spun her around, anger but also concern flashing through his eyes.

 

“Khím, stop this, _right now_! Iliana, please go back with the rest of our guests. I’ll deal with her.”

 

Khím’s eyes were throwing daggers and axes at the fuming Princess as Kíli dragged her away. Iliana’s handmaiden gathered for protection and began escorting their vexed mistress towards a quieter place.

 

“I hope you’ll inherit bad teeth!” Khím muttered between her teeth for good measure.

 

Nearby, Dwalin snickered audibly.

 

Kíli took his friend firmly by the arm and led her to the servants’ corridor behind one of the tapestries.

 

“What on Arda are you doing, Khím???”

“Me?? Ask that bratty princess or whoever she is first! She mocked and insulted me!”

Kíli sighed.

“Things are a bit complicated. Iliana isn’t the type of person you or I should argue with.”

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“She’s Dáin’s daughter, and she…”

“And?”

“Our families will be united. Fíli will get married to Dáin’s eldest daughter.”

 

Those words felt like a punch in the gut.

 

“Fíli? Married?” Khím echoed. “Mahal, that’s… quite a news. Listen, I’m not sorry for my words, but I hope I won’t get you in trouble,” she said while apologetically chewing her bottom lip.

“Don’t worry. I’ll sort it out. She insulted you first, after all. Mahal, the look on her face…!”

“Aye. She looked like a well slapped arse!”

 

Far from prying eyes and ears, the two friends didn’t contain their laugh.

 

***~~~~***

 

From the dais, Dís had seen everything. Her intelligent eyes glinting with mischievousness, she leant towards Fíli and asked him about that feral girl who had no respect for royalty. She liked that girl. She had… character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this story. Real life's struggles and massive amounts of writer's block are the greatest enemies of my creativity.
> 
> If there are still one or two readers for this story, I hope this chapter pleased you. I'd like to read what you think about it?
> 
> Pallets of thanks and love to Drakkhammer and Lakritzwolf for their support, good advice, and inspiration!  
> __________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> Lakritzwolf composed a very appetizing menu for Durin's Day. As I couldn't totally insert it in the story, I share it with you here:
> 
> Soups and starters:
> 
> Soup of pike in white wine and butter  
> Beef stock with herbs
> 
> Hard-boiled eggs wrapped in finely minced meat and fried  
> Small pastries filled with seasoned meat of various animals (chicken, hare, lamb)  
> Various cheeses
> 
> Fish:
> 
> Char-grilled carp  
> Smoked trout
> 
> Meat:
> 
> Baked hare in herb-seasoned red wine  
> Mustard roasted chamois
> 
> Lamb roasted spiced with pepper and horseradish   
> Pastry filled with minced beef, apples and onions  
> Roast ox basked with ale and honey
> 
> Fowl:
> 
> Grouse roasted in a wrapping of rashers streaked bacon  
> Dove in creamed cider sauce  
> Spit-roasted chickens in a crust of honey and herbs  
> Duck filled with apples and breadcrumbs
> 
> Side dishes:
> 
> Freshly baked dark and white bread  
> A dish from Ered Luin they call hamdul kharh (breadlike egg): Eggs, flour and water mixed into a firm dough, boiled in water in large lumps, then cut into strips that are fried in lard (butter in this case). It’s Kili’s favourite ;)
> 
> Onions stewed in ale and honey  
> Diced root vegetables baked with oil and herbs (carrots, onions, beets, beetroot and leeks)  
> (It’s winter/late autumn, so there are not many vegetables available)
> 
> Sweets:
> 
> Milk thickened with egg yolks and sweetened with honey  
> Pancakes made with cream  
> Almond biscuits, made from ground almonds, flour, butter and sugar
> 
> And various fruit preserves to lather onto pancakes, biscuits or the milk cream or to eat with bread.
> 
> Drinks:
> 
> Heavy dark ale (Durin’s Dark)  
> Erebor Stout  
> A light, red ale  
> And since we have honey, we also have mead.
> 
>  
> 
> All of these dwarf-brewed, of course. And all of these are strong enough to knock any human over who attempts more than two pints. So we also have spring water, to water down the ales and mead for the dwarflings.
> 
> Imported cider and wines for the royal family.


	9. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khim has to face the consequences of her encounter with Iliana.

The sun had risen. A new dwarven year was beginning with a shining light in a clear sky. A light too bright for Khím, though. Turning to the opposite side of her bed, she groaned and cursed the blinding daylight.

 

Though she couldn’t remember it, someone had carried her to bed and put night clothes on her last night. Even all the ornaments had been taken off from her hair.

 

Her head was aching a little, but she had seen way worse, being more accustomed to the tavern’s drinks quality than the fine liquors she had drunk the night before.

 

_ In spite of the incident with Iliana, she had had the time of her life at the celebration in the mountain. She and Kíli had drunk and danced until their heads had been spinning and their cheeks had reddened by the effort.  _

_ Laughing and out of breath, they had held onto each other’s shoulders for balance. As their eyes had met, laughter had faded into giggles, and then into smiles so wide they had both felt their faces could split in half.  _

 

_ They had decided to retire for a while to a calm place where the oldest dwarves were gathered and busy exchanging memories of Erebor’s glorious times. Kíli and Khím had listened to their tales and chuckled when they had heard about young Frerin and Thorin’s pranks on their poor grandparents. _

_ Knowing that Thorin had been a mischievous dwarfling had made Khím’s eyes grow wide with stupefaction. She would never see her usually stern King the same way again for sure! _

 

_ Little by little, the ambience had calmed down. The playful music had faded into something soberer, and everyone had regained their place at the tables to listen to Thorin playing his harp. _

 

_ Everyone but Khím and Kíli. _

 

_ Still perched next to each other on their bench apart from the crowd, they had let themselves be enchanted by the peaceful melodies. The crystalline notes had washed over them as fluidly as a mountain stream. _

_ Enthralled by the music, they hadn’t even noticed their thighs and hands had been brushing. At the end of the first song, Khím and Kíli had exchanged a furtive glance and a smile. Without thinking, Kíli had gently closed his fingers around Khím’s, and she had lightly squeezed his thumb. They had simply stayed like this and had enjoyed the moment. _

__

_ Soon after Thorin’s last note had ceased to echo on the gallery’s walls, the crowd had risen and applauded. The king had humbly bowed to his people and thanked everyone for coming and sharing the feast before publicly announcing Fíli’s and K _ _ á _ _ ra’s betrothal, causing another round of vigorous applause.  _

 

_ Kíli had seized the occasion and had asked once again to introduce Khím to his mother. The young woman had refused at first. Why would a Princess like to know a commoner like her? What was the point of all this? But Kíli’s words and pleading eyes had made her resolution melt like snow under the spring sun. _

 

_ As excited as a puppy, the young prince had quickly dragged his friend towards the royal dais before she could change her mind. _

 

_ Dís had had the tact to step down the dais to meet the young woman. In an attempt to be brave, Khím had squared her shoulders and held her head high before bowing in front of Kíli’s mother. It had been already too late when she had realised she should have curtsied and her attempt to rectify her posture had resulted in a more than clumsy gesture. Khím had felt mortified, but Dís’ warm chuckle and kind smile had made shame instantly disappear. _

 

_ Kíli had introduced the two women to each other before calmly retreating to observe them. _

_ Just as he had foreseen, they had gotten along quite rapidly. Dís had recalled Khím’s mother for she had frequently bought cloth from her in Thorin’s Halls’ market, and Fíli had intervened to praise the young woman’s skills at repairing weapons. _

 

_ Knowing that a woman was working at the forge had delighted the Princess. According to her, anyone should be able to have a career of their choice, and not one depending on their gender. _

 

_ Living in the wild during her youth had helped Dís to broaden her mind. She was an independent woman, and she knew how to do embroidery as well as how to repair a wagon wheel. Thus, she had saluted Khím’s tenacity for working among men with a knowing smile. _

_ At the end of their conversation, Dís had asked if Khím could take a look at a brooch where the fastener needed some repair and the latter had gladly accepted. The two women had promised to see each other again very soon. _

 

_ Watching them from a distance, Kíli had grinned from one ear to the other.  _

 

Khím sat up on the edge of her bed and massaged her sore temples. Looking down, she saw that her feet were sporting a few blisters. Damned fancy shoes! 

 

After a yawn that sounded more like a growl and a spine-popping stretch, the young woman got up and dressed in her good old comfortable clothes. Maybe she would buy a new tunic next spring she thought while tying her hair in a messy bun, something blue for a change. Blue like Kíli’s garments last night. She smiled at that thought.

A quick splash of cold water on her visage and she was ready to face a new day.

 

The angry glance her mother gave her as a greeting when Khím stepped into the kitchen made her good mood vanish. A message adorned with the royal seal was on the table. A notification. And Khím’s name was on it.

 

***~~~~***

 

When Kíli arrived in the throne room, two people were already talking with Thorin. Ori was there as well, sitting at a small desk, his quill running across a piece of parchment.

 

Iliana shot the young prince a dirty look when he greeted her and her father with a deep bow. 

 

“You asked to see me, uncle?” Kíli asked, trying to keep his voice firm and strong.

 

Thorin nodded and motioned his nephew to come closer.

 

“Dáin reported an incident between his daughter and a friend of yours during last night’s feast. Given that you were also involved, I wanted to hear your version of the story.”

 

Kíli felt his insides twitch with a mix of anger and anxiety. If Iliana pressured her father and Thorin to punish Khím, she would know Ibun’s wrath again. The young Prince gritted his teeth and did his best to avoid Iliana’s smirk.

Feeling the weight of three insistent gazes on him, he held his head high and stuck only to the facts. The scratching of the inked quill on the parchment accompanied Kíli’s testimony as Ori was scrupulously taking notes.

Iliana remained silent, but one could see she was refraining herself from throwing a fit of anger in Thorin’s presence. Kíli’s version was apparently a bit different than hers. 

 

After Ori had read Kíli’s statement aloud, Thorin dismissed his nephew.

 

The prince left the throne room in long nervous strides. He wanted to be sure about Khím’s fate, to be persuaded she had nothing to fear. She had only reacted to the princess’ mockery, hadn’t she? Thorin would see beyond a princess’ caprice and would be fair. Yes, he’d be fair…

 

Lost in his thoughts, Kíli almost passed Khím by without seeing her. 

 

The young dwarrowdam was pacing in the corridor, her notification parchment held so firmly in her hand it was all crumpled. She froze when she noticed her friend. Trying to will away the lump in her throat, she gave him a feeble smile, which he returned.

 

But the joy of seeing each other got cut short by concern.

 

“It’s about Iliana, isn’t it?” Khím breathed, and Kíli nodded. They didn’t have more time to talk; a servant ushered Khím into the throne room.

 

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Kíli whispered with a supporting smile. Khím nodded and muttered ‘thanks’ before being swallowed by the immense hall.

 

***~~~~***

 

Khím felt small when the massive doors of the throne room slammed shut behind her back. Squaring her shoulders, she strode across the green marble floor, her glance fixed above Thorin’s eyes.

 

“My King. My Liege,” she said with a bow to Thorin and Dáin. She deliberately chose to avoid Iliana. She knew it could be interpreted as a mark of disrespect, but she just couldn’t look at the Princess without feeling a strong urge to punch her in the face.

 

“Khím, daughter of Ibun, I think you know why I summoned you today?” asked Thorin in a calm tone.

“Yes, my King.” Khím winced slightly when she heard her unsteady voice, and she cleared her throat. 

“Did you meet Princess Iliana last night?”

“Yes, my King.” Her tone sounded firm now.

“Did you assault her?”

 

Khím’s left eye twitched nervously.

 

“My… My King?”

“Princess Iliana accuses you of assault and insult upon her person. Is that right?”

 

Khím looked Thorin in the eyes in an attempt to read his thoughts, but the King’s face remained neutral. 

 

Without leaving his glance, she said “I tripped on the hem of my dress and fell. Prince Kíli helped me back on my feet, and I heard someone laugh. I didn’t know who she was. I saw red when she didn’t stop laughing, so I came to her and told her she was impolite… more or less.”

 

The young dwarrowdam could feel a blush creeping from the nape of her neck to the tip of her ears, but she decided to tell the whole truth. She took a deep breath and went on.

 

“She called me an impudent peasant, so I told her she was a spoiled brat.” Dáin huffed audibly, but Khím didn’t let it distract her. She went on. “Then, Prince Kíli separated us. I might have been a bit harsh with my words, but I never touched her. That’s all I have to say, my King.”

 

From the corner of her eye, Khím briefly saw Dáin pinch the bridge of his nose and throw a reproachful look at his daughter whose reddened face was wearing an obstinate expression.

 

“Thank you, Khím, “declared Thorin after a short pause. “Ori will read your statement aloud. Once you approve it, you may wait behind the doors until I take my decision.”

 

“Your wish is my command, my King.”

 

A few minutes later, Khím crossed the heavy wooden doors for the second time of the day, the lump in her throat feeling bigger than ever.

 

***~~~~***

 

“How did it go?” Kíli asked anxiously as soon as Khím exited the throne room. The young dwarrowdam sighed and cast her friend a worried look. 

“I can’t tell. Everything went quite fast. I don’t know what to expect.”

 

The young dwarves sat down side by side on a nearby stone bench. Khím bent forward and rested her forearms on her knees, her glance fixed on the veined dark green floor, and her left leg started to bounce nervously. 

Kíli rubbed soothing circles on her back and felt it arch slightly into his touch. It had been so discreet he thought he had dreamt it.

 

“Don’t worry. Thorin might look severe, but he’s fair.”

 

“Let’s hope so,” Khím muttered, not convinced at all. She already pictured herself condemned to a big fee and public excuses, or worse. Her mother would surely cry and curse her. Her father… He would be livid.

 

For the first time, Khím genuinely feared for her life.

 

An intense shudder shook her body, making Kíli jump and hastily withdraw his hand from her back.

 

Khím wanted to cry. Or scream. She needed to disappear. Maybe she could run off and hide somewhere in the woods? During winter, yeah, good luck with that, you stupid girl. Perhaps she could hide inside the mountain, then. There were still plenty of unexplored places. Yes, this plan could work. She would have to steal her food, but it could work. The area was so vast; they’d never find her. She just had to-

 

“Khím?”

 

Kíli’s voice made her lift her head. His hazel eyes looked intensely sad and worried. She realised suddenly how beautiful they were, as if she were seeing them for the first time.

 

Mahal, she would miss Kíli so much. Her friend. Her brother from another mother. Her-

 

“If something bad happens, I’ll be there to help you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.”

 

Mahal, she looked so pale. So fragile. 

Kíli’s heart almost broke at the sight of his once proud and fierce friend now reduced to a frail apprehensive figure. The fear in her eyes made him want to take her away from here in an instant.

 

Heavy footsteps made the two friends startle and look toward the other end of the corridor.

 

Dwalin was approaching, a grim scowl plastered onto his face. He saluted Kíli and Khím briefly before entering the throne room. A few minutes later, he was back and told Khím Thorin was waiting for her.

 

She gulped hard, and her knees wobbled when she got up. She didn’t feel ready to hear she was found guilty of assaulting a royal person. A brief glance at Kíli’s eyes to seek courage and she was swallowed by the immense hall again.

 

“Don’t worry, lad. She will be all right,” Dwalin said as he patted Kíli’s shoulder before going away. 

 

***~~~~***

 

As Kíli was anxiously waiting in the corridor, he tried to turn his thoughts towards his friend instead of his fear of seeing her punished.

 

He had enjoyed their closeness last night. Kíli remembered the warmth of Khím’s waist beneath his hands during the dance and his heart tightened. The sensation of Khím’s hand in his. How Kíli would have liked never to let it go. But he knew he had to keep his real feelings to himself or she would flee like a startled animal once more, and this time she might never want to see him again.

 

The sound of the heavy doors opening and closing tore Kíli from his musings. Anxiously, his glance rose to meet Khím’s. She looked stunned, and her eyes were shimmering.

 

Quickly, Kíli jumped to his feet and hurried to envelop Khím’s trembling body in his arms. A nervous chuckle escaped her mouth as she tightly gripped the back of his tunic. Kíli’s body tensed in anxiety.

 

“I’m innocent. I’m innocent… “Khím muttered again and again against Kíli’s shoulder.

The prince gasped. “What did Thorin say?” he managed to ask in a shaky breath.

 

Khím faced Kíli and anchored her look to his as if it were a lifeline.

 

“It’s Dwalin’s testimony... It… It saved me!” she stammered. “Thorin… He just demanded immediate apologies for the insults, and that was it!” she added with a quivering smile where relief mingled with the rush of adrenalin which was slowly ebbing.

 

“Mahal, I’m so relieved,” Kíli breathed while gently resting his forehead against Khím’s, his arms still around her.

 

“Am I too late?” 

Dís’ concerned voice broke the trance the two young dwarves were in, making them startle.

 

“The hearing is over, ‘amad.”

 

Khím and Kíli looked so shaken that Dís thought for an instant Khím had been condemned. But the growing smiles on their faces gave them away. The Princess heaved a deep sigh and chuckled with relief.

 

“Oh, my children, I knew Thorin would be clement!” Then, she asked Khím with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes: “How did Iliana take it?”

 

The young dwarrowdam grinned. “Her face was so red I thought she was ready to explode!” 

 

Kíli and Dís burst into laughter, so alike in features and sound that Khím’s smile could only grow wider before she cracked up as well. All the fear and the tension she had felt during the whole morning dissolved with her laughter and she felt a bit spent and light-headed when silence settled again.  

 

“Ugh, I could use a stiff drink right now!” Khím declared after rubbing the palms of her hands over her eyes. “I bet my master ain’t very happy I didn’t show up at work this morning, and I’ll have to stay longer today to make amends. But I sure need to blow off some steam before going to the forge.”

 

“I could buy you some lunch at the tavern if you want?” Kíli offered, his mouth being once again faster than his brain. Dís gave him a furtive look.

 

“Brilliant idea! I was so preoccupied this morning that I skipped breakfast. Now, I could eat a horse with the saddle and everything!”

 

Kíli turned to his mother. He was about to ask her to join them when she declared she had an important appointment she couldn’t postpone. The faint blush on her cheeks didn’t escape Kíli’s eyes. He promised himself to discover who that mysterious person was. Later. Now, he had a lunch and a drink to share with his best friend.

 

Feeling lucky, he offered Khím his arm. To his great surprise, she gladly took it instead of shoving him playfully like she always did. 

 

The sensation of Khím’s body so close to his, even if separated by layers of thick clothes, made Kíli’s heart swell and beat a little faster. What he didn’t know is that she was feeling just the same.

 

***~~~~***

 

It was late when Khím came back to the cottage. All in all, it had been a good day. She had avoided getting into more trouble, and the work at the forge had been good for her shaken nerves. 

 

The lunch at the tavern had been nice too. Good food and drink, and  _ very _ pleasant company.

 

The young dwarrowdam sighed. She couldn’t completely grasp what she was feeling but thinking about Kíli had now the tendency to give a pink hue to her cheeks. A few weeks ago, she would have been annoyed by such a reaction. Now, she looked for that rush of warmth like a delicious treat.

  
  


***~~~~***

 

Gerd had felt restless all day. She had had to lie to her husband about Khím’s whereabouts, and she was almost sure he hadn’t believed her.

All day long, she had paced through the little house looking for more chores to distract herself from concern. 

 

When night came, Gerd’s anxiety grew. Khím should have been home already, and Ibun would arrive soon from the mine.

 

The sound of the door opening made the dwarrowdam startle. A gush of wind made snow whirl into the room as Khím got in. Gerd stood frozen in shock. Her daughter was back home! It only took a few seconds for tears of relief to burst out of her tired eyes.

 

Khím smiled to her mother and buried herself in her open arms. The snow covering her coat began to melt and formed puddles at her feet, but it didn’t matter. She was at home, and for once it was feeling good. She realised she had missed the comfort of her mother’s embrace. What was the last time they had hugged? She couldn’t remember.

 

At length, Gerd loosened her embrace so she could look at her daughter. Her hair was a mess (as usual), and her whole face was reddened by the cold, but her eyes were shining with that bright spark she had lost during last autumn.

 

“You’re home,” Gerd breathed before asking: “What was that notification about? I need to know. I’ve been worried sick about you all day!”

 

Khím sighed. “I had harsh words with a Princess from the Iron Hills last night, but it’s all sorted now. I apologised. There’s nothing to worry about, ‘amad.”

 

“Oh, Khím… “Gerd’s tone was full of reproach and disappointment. “Why do you  _ always _ have to rush headfirst into trouble?”

 

Khím frowned, about to raise her voice. But she took a deep breath and managed to remain calm. She felt too tired to argue.

 

“’Amad, she insulted me.” She sighed in weariness. “Listen, I already had to justify myself in front of the King this morning, so I’d like to stop talking about this. Is it possible?”

 

“Of course, yes. You’re back home, and that’s all that matters. Dinner’s about to be ready.”

 

Both women sniffled, and Khím took off her wet coat and boots while Gerd served her a bowl of steaming stew. 

 

They were both eating when the door opened again with a crashing sound as it bounced against the wall. 

 

Ibun was back. And he looked furious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tons of thanks to the ever delightful DrakkHammer and Lakritzwolf for their help and support. I love you, guys.
> 
> Dear readers, if you're still around, tell me what you liked or disliked in this chapters. Comments, even an appreciative line of randomly typed letters, are always welcome :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Special warnings here : physical violence, mention of stabbing, blood.

Gerd and Khím instinctively got up.

 

Ibun was standing in the doorframe, his large figure towering the two women.

 

He was reeking of alcohol.

 

His unfocused glare slid from his wife to his daughter, and he grumbled something unintelligible. Then, he thrust an accusing finger at Khím.

 

“You!” He growled while staggering towards his daughter.

“’Adad, wait…”

“People TALK! You made me ASHAMED! And you,” now he was pointing at his wife “You LIED to me!”

“It wasn’t Khím’s fault!”

 

Ibun’s eyes widened in surprise. Gerd, his wife, so obedient, so submissive, had shouted at him. Worse than that, she had just gainsaid him.

 

“Hold your tongue, woman!”

 

Ibun’s large hand landed brutally on Gerd’s face.  She stood stunned for an instant before sagging onto the floor where she remained motionless.

 

Something in Khím’s mind snapped, and a red veil fogged her vision.

 

***~~~~***

 

When the young dwarrowdam came back to her senses, she was panting. A kitchen knife was clutched in her trembling hand, and the room was spinning, filled with a sickening coppery smell.

 

Khím’s stomach lurched, and she gagged as her former meal rushed up to her throat. Her hands were moist and sticky. Dark red.

 

Ibun was lying in a puddle of blood, several wounds on his chest.

 

Khím dropped the knife and started when she heard the clatter of the blade on the wooden floor.

 

“I killed him,” she whispered. “Oh Mahal, I killed him.”

 

A sound on her left made her head turn. Her mother was still inert on the floor, and she was groaning faintly.

 

“’Amad!”

 

Gerd opened her eyes and tried to sit up. In an instant, her daughter dropped to her knees and helped her.

 

“What happened?” slurred the older dwarrowdam, her mind still clouded by her husband’s blow.

“He hit you. Hard enough to knock you out,” explained Khím in a trembling voice thickened by the sobs she was trying to fight. “I… I think I stabbed him.” She hung her head down to avoid her mother’s eyes.

 

Gerd looked at her daughter, then at the room as she was slowly processing Khím’s last words. Surprising herself, her voice came out clear as she asked: “Is he dead?”

 

“I… I don’t know,” Khím stammered. “’Amad, I’m…”

 

_I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to do it?_ All those words sounded so inappropriate that Khím just shut up.

The more she was trying to remember her actions the more her mind refused to cooperate. A whole chunk of her memory was missing, locked away in the bottom of her spirit’s darkest place.

 

The cottage was silent. So silent it was oppressive. So silent Khím felt the need to do anything to make it stop.

 

“’Amad?” Khím asked in a small croaking voice.

 

Gerd didn’t react. She was staring at her husband, her glance completely devoid of emotion.

 

“He won’t do us harm anymore, now,” muttered the older dwarrowdam while getting up. “Look at this mess… I’ll have a hard time brushing the floor clean.”

 

As if in a trance, Gerd walked towards the cupboard to fetch a hard brush and a bucket.

 

“’Amad?” Khím repeated, on the verge of tears.

“Go and get me water from the well, will you?” Gerd asked softly, her glance still fixed on Ibun.

“’Amad, STOP!”

 

Gerd startled, torn away from her trance. Her expression changed as she seemed to see her daughter for the first time. Khím’s hands and clothes were soiled with blood, and her messy hair was sticking to her face. A pair of dark green eyes shimmering with tears was fixed on her face. The look of her daughter made Gerd shiver with dread.

 

“I can’t stay here, ‘amad.”

“Yes… Yes, you’re right! We must find you a safe hiding place. We –“

“No! You don’t understand! I must surrender to the guards.”

 

The older dwarrowdam froze.

 

“No, Khím! You must hide! They will condemn you to death!” Gerd was in tears. She gripped her daughter’s tunic, desperate and resolved to force her to stay safe with her.

“Let me give myself away instead of you! You can’t… You’re too young to die! We… I… I could hide the body… I…”

 

A gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her.

 

“No,” Khím murmured before sniffling and wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I can’t let you do this. You’re innocent. It is I who killed… _him_. Now, please, let me go. Please, ‘amad. You have to let me go.”

 

With gentle moves, Khím made her mother let go of her tunic and took her hands in hers. Delicately, she rested her forehead on Gerd’s, and both women closed their eyes in a silent goodbye.

One minute later, Khím had put on her boots and coat and was out the door.

 

Left alone in the quiet cottage, Gerd collapsed onto the floor beside her husband and buried her face in her hands while she sobbed.

 

***~~~~***

 

An insistent banging on his chambers’ doors woke Thorin in the middle of the night.

 

“My King! I’m deeply sorry to interrupt your night! Something happened!”

 

The guard was young, and he looked close to panicking.

 

“What’s the matter? Speak!”

 

While waiting for an answer, Thorin hastily put on a robe and took his dagger.

 

“There’s a woman at the front gate, the cloth seller’s daughter; she says she killed her father!”

Thorin’s eyes widened. “What?”

“She’s here to give herself up, she said.”

“Fetch Óin and Dwalin! Quick! Tell them to meet me at the front gate immediately!”

“Yes, my King! Right away!”

 

The guard hurried out of the room and ran down the corridor, muttering to himself “Fetch Óin and Dwalin, Óin and Dwalin, Óin and…”

 

***~~~~***

 

Kíli woke up with a startle. Something was wrong, he could feel it. An instant later, Fíli barged into his room.

 

“Kíli! Get dressed, quick! Something happened!”

 

Without a word, the younger Prince jumped into his trousers and boots and followed his brother.

 

As they were approaching the front gate, the Princes made out a small crowd. Thorin, Dwalin, Óin, and a handful of guards were gathered, surrounding a smaller form.

 

Kíli’s heart started hammering in his chest when he recognised Khím.

 

With horror, the young Prince witnessed the guards tying her hands and leading her to the lower levels where the dungeons were. She didn’t put up resistance at all. She didn’t even see Kíli when she walked past him.

 

“Let’s head to the cottage. Dwalin, Óin, come with me,” Thorin commanded. Fíli caught him by the sleeve and asked: “Uncle, what happened?”

 

With a grim look, Thorin answered: “This young woman just claimed to have stabbed her father to death.”

Kíli gasped. “She what?”

 “You heard me, Kíli. Now, if you’re willing to help, take that stretcher and come with us to Ibun’s cottage. Otherwise, just go back to your room.”

 

Before Kíli could answer, Fíli put a protective hand on his brother’s arm and mouthed “no”.

“I’m coming with you, Uncle!” Fíli exclaimed as Thorin was already on his way.

 

Just as he was picking up the stretcher, Fíli whispered to Kíli: “This is your only chance to see her before long. Go!”

 

Without waiting furthermore, the crown prince sprinted to catch up with the others.

 

***~~~~***

 

The dungeons were damp and reeked of mould.

 

Since the mountain had been reclaimed, this place hadn’t been a priority for the dwarves. Most of the conflicts had been settled with fair compromises, and very few offences had been made, none of them being worth a jail sentence.

 

The guards bowed before Kíli, and one handed him a torch as the other indicated the cell in which Khím was locked up.

 

His lips tightly pressed together, the Prince walked down a couple of stairs and a narrow corridor until he reached the first cell, the only one that had been hastily cleaned up. The guards had fetched a bundle of fresh straw and a blanket from the stables along with a tankard of water. It was scarce but better than nothing.

 

Khím was huddled in a corner, facing the back wall. Ibun’s blood had dried on her skin, displaying a grim contrast to her pale complexion to the flickering light of the torch.

 

Kíli crouched and rested his forehead on the rusty bars of the cell.

 

“Khím?”

 

His voice bounced on the stone walls, making him cringe. Khím’s shoulders sunk even more and he heard her repress a sob.

 

“Please, go away,” she croaked.

“I won’t,” Kíli answered. “Not until you tell me what happened.”

“I’m a monster. That’s what happened. Now, leave.”

 

The Prince sighed at his friend’s toneless voice. She had withdrawn into herself again, and Kíli knew there was nothing he could do against it. But he couldn’t go away from her either.

 

“Khím, I-”

“Just go!” She cried out.

“I can’t. I don’t want to,” the Prince sighed.

 

Kíli stretched a hand between the bars, but Khím stayed out of reach, still stubbornly facing the back wall of her cell.

“You won’t speak. Fair enough, but I’m still staying here.” Khím wasn’t the only one who could be pig-headed.

 

After a moment, Kíli moved away from the bars and sat down on the damp prison floor. He feigned to make himself comfortable, propped his back up against the rough wall, crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

 

Lulled by the rhythmic sound of water drops falling from the ceiling, Kíli was falling asleep when he heard Khím move in her cell. Curious, the Prince cautiously cracked one eye open and saw that she wasn’t facing the wall anymore.

 

The light from the torch was slowly dying.

 

A shy whisper rose among the dancing shadows of the jail. “Kíli? Are you awake?”

 

“Sort of,” he groaned while straightening up and rubbing his sore lower back.

 

Khím crawled to the cell’s door and unconsciously mimicked Kíli’s earlier gesture by resting her brow on the bars.

 

“I’m scared,” she breathed. In the dim light, her eyes finally searched Kíli’s.

 

The Prince answered her silent call, and joined Khím on the other side of the bars, mirroring her posture. The flickering glow from the dying torch could barely illuminate their faces.

 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Kíli asked softly.

Khím looked down. “I’m a kinslayer.” The confession had fallen from her lips like lead.

“How?”

 

Khím gulped hard and rubbed her face before looking at her stained hands. The blood had dried long ago, leaving a thin brownish crust on her skin. She barely noticed she was scratching at it while she revealed everything she could remember.

 

“This was self-defence!” Kíli exclaimed as she ended her tale. “You shouldn’t be in here!”

“I _killed_ my _father_ , Kíli!”

“But it was him or you, or your mother! He could have killed you both!”

“Still, I’m a murderer,” she retorted obstinately.

“It was an accident!”

“It doesn’t matter! I killed my father! Do you understand what that means?? I’ll be condemned to death!”

“There will be an inquiry and a trial. You’ll have witnesses on your side. You’ll have me.” Kíli blushed and briefly thanked the darkness for hiding it before specifying: “I mean, I’m a Prince, for Mahal’s sake! I’m sure I can do something.”

 

Silence settled once more. Khím could feel Kíli’s gaze on her, gentle and desperate. She was very tempted to trust him. Still, doubt lingered. She wasn’t a good person and would never be one. All she touched had to turn into a disaster at some point, and this time would be like the others. But there was a question lingering in her mind, and she had to know.

 

“Why would you do such a thing for me?” Her tone was harsher than she intended it to be.

Kíli swallowed hard, his gaze now focused on the ground. He gripped the bars and fought with all his strength to keep his voice from trembling.

 

“Because you’re my… friend.”

“Nonsense! Can you see where this ‘friendship’ has lead you? I’m bad news, Kíli! How can you still be there? If I were you, I would have left long ago!”

 

“Shut up!” Kíli cried out as he hit the bars with the palm of his hands. His sudden brutality made Khím cringe and recoil.

 

“Stop talking like that! You’re insulting yourself and my feelings for you! I’m your friend, and I wish I could be more to you!” Khím’s totally puzzled look was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Don’t you understand?? I love you!”

 

Kíli’s last words made their way through Khím’s brain with great difficulty. She scrutinised his eyes in search of lies but found nothing but sincerity.

 

How could he think she was worth of his affection? Telling her she was scum would have hurt less. Why would he be different than the others? He must be a fool to see something lovable in her. Still… He had never let her down, and he was here right now with her. He was willing to share everything with her; the good, the bad and everything else, and she had to admit her heart was yearning for his presence.

The thick defensive walls Khím had built around herself began to crumble. She was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of lying to herself. She was going to die soon anyway, so why should she keep on pretending? It was time to end this masquerade.

 

“Oh, Kíli, I… ” Her voice came out on a broken sob as she rested her brow on the cell’s gate. She reached out between the bars and covered his hands with hers to seek courage. She wanted to say those words, but they remained stuck in her throat. Voicing her feelings for Kíli would equal a jump from a cliff, and all her body and mind were imploring her not to do it.

 

The feel of Kíli’s thumb brushing hers made her lift her head and face him. Her eyes met his, and all shame and doubt vanished.

 

“I love you too.”

 

For once, Kíli remained silent as he let Khím’s confession sink in. Her words formed a loop he played and played in his head as if he could get drunk on it. Tears prickled his eyes, and he let them roll on his cheeks. Now wasn’t a time to be ashamed of crying.

 

Delicately, Kíli took Khím’s hands and held them to his lips to kiss their tips.

 

“I’ll get you out of here, I swear.”

“Kíli, I’m so sorry… I spoil everything,” she sobbed. She didn’t try to hold her tears this time.

“Shhh, no… Stop crying, or I’ll cry too.” The Prince tried to smile in spite of his wobbling chin and his eyes already full of tears. Khím needed his support, not to see him weak.

 

With trembling fingers, Khím caressed Kíli’s raspy cheek, and he instantly leant into her touch, his eyes closed in bliss. At this instant, they were alone in the world.

 

Muffled footsteps and conversations nearby indicated the changing of the guard.

 

Kíli opened his eyes reluctantly.

 

“The sun must be up already. I should go and start collecting proof in your favour. And you, you should rest. Understood, young lady?”

 

Kíli shot her one of his dazzling grins, just to make his sweetheart smile. And he won.

 

“I’ll visit you as soon as I can, I promise.” He kissed the palm of her hand before leaving. “I love you, my gem.”

 

***~~~~***

 

A few minutes after Kíli’s departure, Khím arranged herself a bed of straw and curled up on it, wrapped in the blanket. Right now, she would have given all she had in this world to crawl into Kíli’s comforting arms and never leave.

 

Would they have the occasion to share a proper kiss? She doubted it. Death was upon her soon; she was at least sure of that. Could she hope she would escape such a fate? Could Kíli mitigate the sentence? He had said she’d have witnesses on her side. And him. She would have him.

 

_What a waste…_ she thought. _I was so close to freedom. Just a few months and I would have had all the money I need to leave after the end of my apprenticeship. But Kíli wasn’t part of the plan back then…_

 

Sleep caught Khím on those thoughts as sunlight was climbing the eastern side of the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for staying with me. This story is long to unravel itself; I wish I could write it faster, believe me !
> 
> As usual, tons of thanks to DrakkHammer and Lakritzwolf for their help.
> 
> Comments are always welcome :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first attempt at writing a story. It's partly based on a roleplay I had with a dear friend of mine. I hope you'll enjoy it. Don't hesitate to give me feedback ;)  
> Thank you for reading.  
> EDIT : After several weeks of cogitation, I changed this story a little bit. I decided to make it go towards the light instead of darkness. A happy ending is all I need, finally. I'm sure you'll like it better that way :)


End file.
